


Memory is More Indelible than Ink

by alice_time



Category: Blindspot (TV), Person of Interest (TV), The Sentinel
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Sentinels and Guides Are Known, Cuddling & Snuggling, D/s a bit, David doesn't die, Fix-It, Growly Sentinels, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Non-corporeal animal companions, Pack Dynamics, Protective Kurt Weller, Sentinel/Guide Bonding, Spanking, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-06-08 06:26:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 33,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6842662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alice_time/pseuds/alice_time
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't obvious that Jane Doe was a Guide. Well, it wasn't obvious to anyone but Kurt. He knew the moment he breathed in her scent. But the meek, confused woman covered in tattoos quickly proved to be more than first impressions painted her and as they, and the FBI team, begin chasing down the clues her tattoos lead them to, the growing Bond between Jane and Kurt is getting harder to ignore. And when the truth about Jane's identity comes to light, Kurt can't help but feel like it's his second chance. Except there's more to this than what meets the eye and Jane's flashes of memory point her toward a man with a tree tattoo. Another Sentinel. Someone she knows she has history with. Someone she could have Bonded with, but whatever their connection was Jane is going to have to figure out what she wants and who she can trust quickly, before her instincts decide for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Stamped in Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I binged like a dozen episodes in three days and I couldn't help thinking, every episode, SENTINEL GUIDE AU! So...here we are.  
> Spoilers for episodes 1-3 of Blindspot  
> This first chapter relies heavily on you having seen those episodes but I'm going to be a bit more...concrete? I suppose, as we go.

A red tag read; _call the FBI_. From the moment the first slender, ink covered arm emerged from the bag, it became clear that _this_ was not going to be a normal day at the office for the NYPD bomb squad. And the arm was only followed by a slender, dark haired woman with wide hazel eyes, covered in intricate tattoos from the neck down.

No. No one could have expected _that._

***

SSA Agent Kurt Weller was wrapping up a case when he was surprised by a helicopter landing outside the house he’d just stormed. _An incident in Time Square_ , they said and he was off to an FBI medical facility to get his first look at the woman that came out of the bag—a woman with his name tattooed on her back.

Her system had been flooded with drugs that erased her memories. For the time being, she was Jane Doe. Jane Doe with those huge eyes that made Kurt think he should be able to see her soul.

“All of her tattoos are brand new,” Patterson said.

“It’s a puzzle.”

And the ever present question of _Why?_

Their mystery girl was a ghost. She wasn’t in any database. Fingerprints. DNA. Facial recognition. Nothing.

And she wasn’t all that happy about being forced to answer questions she didn’t have the answers to.

“We have to put you in a room with her,” Director Mayfair said finally. “See if she reacts to you.”

Weller sighed. They’d been watching the polygraph from behind the one-way glass. Weller was better than any machine at telling whether or not someone was telling the truth and this woman—there wasn’t a single sign she was lying. The only thing he was sure he was picking up from her was anxiety. Fear. Her heart rate was high, her pupils blown wide. She didn’t know what was going on and she was terrified. He could hardly blame her for that.

Something about her—something about the way her eyes begged for answers—it made him feel a connection he hadn’t felt in a long time. She reminded him of someone but the woman in front of him—he didn’t know. The minute he entered the room, her file in hand he caught a scent. Sweet and savory, it reminded him of his favorite Chinese food but it was more than that. He took a breath and sat down, setting the file down.

“I’m Special Agent Kurt Weller,” he started. “I’m the lead agent on your case.”

Her eyes widened, nostrils flaring. “Sentinel.”

He frowned. “Yes, I am.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“We don’t know yet.”

“All these tests and you don’t know anything?”

“We know you’re telling us the truth—”

“Why would I lie?”

He raised his eyebrows. “Do you recognize me?”

“Why would I recognize you?”

“Because my name,” he opened the file, “was tattooed on your back.”

She frowned. _Sentinel._ It was like her heart was beating in time to the word. She could feel— _him_. Feel his confusion. Feel his concern. It washed over her, muffling the other sensations. Muffling the ache of her still sensitive skin. _I don’t know him._

 _But I_ know _him._

“What is happening to me?”

“We don’t know who you are, ma’am. But maybe, somehow—you knew me.”

She took a breath, reaching out for his hand with her own and then touching his face with the other. His skin, the roughness of his beard. Touching him felt…right. A missing piece she couldn’t explain.

 _Guide._ Kurt felt the word echo through his mind and he pulled back, shaking free the delicate touch. He felt an impulse to touch her back. To pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be all right. To breath in more of that scent. Taste her lips and memorize every inch of her skin.

He stood up. “We’re—we’re going to take you someplace safe for the night.”

She wanted to touch him again. She wanted _him_ to touch her. She couldn’t fully understand why but there was something. _What is this?_

“We’re going to find out who you are, I promise.”

_I promise._

***

“—unless you are detaining me, I am going!” She’d refused to back down and Mayfair backed her. That didn’t mean Kurt had to take Jane into danger. She challenged him again when he forced her to stay in the car and her snappy, “ _Forget something?_ ” when he was forced to come back for her made it clear she wasn’t going to remain the wide-eyed meek woman who stepped out of the bag. There was steel in her they hadn’t seen yet.

Of course, that didn’t stop Kurt from forcing her out in the hallway at the first sign of danger.

Jane sulked in the hallway with the Chinese student, but she didn’t stay there, attention drawn by the shouting from downstairs. A woman begging for help. She could _feel_ desperation, fear. She didn’t stop to think as she pushed the door open the rest of the way.

And she didn’t stop to think when the man she’d interrupted beating his wife and the man’s friend attacked her. She didn’t have to think. Her muscles remembered even if she didn’t. Remembered how to fight, how to subdue, how to turn a mop into a weapon. Which was how Kurt found her, choking out one of her assailants with the broom handle.

He pulled his gun. “Jane! Stop!” He pulled her away, stood her next to the wall and snapped, “Stay there.” He pointed at the wall.

He checked on the man and came back. “What happened?” He growled. She didn’t answer fast enough to suit the mood he was in. “What happened?”

“That guy was roughing up his wife and the other guy just showed up out of nowhere and I—I just wanted to help.” She swallowed. “I just wanted to help.”

“Okay. I asked you to stay upstairs.”

“What was I supposed to do—”

“We could have handled that.” He looked down at her hands, knuckles bruises and bloody, lip bloody. He tamped down the urge to finish what she started with the men on the floor. To end the men that hurt her. _My guide._ He shook his head. “Come on, there’s something I need you to look at upstairs.”

***

He made a point of keep a hand on Jane’s arm when they finished in the apartment, escorting her downstairs and putting her in the car. He sat in the back seat with her. Wanting to stay close to her and at the same time wanting to keep distance between them. Pieces were starting to come together. Her knowledge of languages. Her ability to fight—not the kind of fighting you learned from your local dojo.

No. She was trained. Had been trained. Special forces. Something.

A phone call from Mayfair answered a part of that question. _Navy Seal._

Jane wasn’t sure if she was happy or not to be helping rather than being stuck in the car. Kurt had put her in a vest and commanded her to stay by his side but she ended up getting shot so…not great. She’d had to insist forcefully to get Kurt to pursue the suspect, but she had a feeling the minor nature of the injury was the only reason he had in the end.

Shooting the suspect triggered a memory. Her first memory. A shooting course. A man with a beard. But that only begged more questions.

But Kurt couldn’t help think of Jane, curled up in his arms. He’d wanted nothing more than to keep holding her. Protect her. His instincts were telling him he’d failed her as a Sentinel, but another part of him was telling him to trust her. Trust her skill.

And he _wanted_ her. The Sentinel in him _wanted_ her. _My Guide._ He went to check on her at the safe house, eyeing her injury with some concern, updating her on the events past her involvement and finding himself unsurprised when she wrapped her arms around him, nestling her face against her chest. He got a look at her neck, a scar that was terribly familiar and things connected for him that hadn’t connected before.

Those eyes. That scent. The familiarity. The scar.

He knew her. He did _know_ her.

***

_I don’t remember who I am—who I was. The life I had is gone. Shattered into a million tiny pieces._

The shooting range brought out another memory, and Jane wasn’t so sure she _wanted_ to remember it. She’d shot a nun. How could she shoot a nun? How did she know what a nun was? The only thing she was really certain of these days was that she liked coffee and tea tasted like grass.

Another tattoo, another clue—and they nearly got blown up. Danger seemed to be a part of her everyday life. Her past, her present.

_What if I find out who I am and I don’t like it?_

All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and hide. Hide from the people around her. Hide from the emotions that seemed to press in from all sides.

_What if this is penance?_

***

Kurt was more than surprised that he didn’t zone in the aftermath of the explosion. He managed to focus on Jane with little effort. He felt grounded, more grounded than he’d ever felt with his temp Guides, more grounded than he’d even felt with Allie, the one Guide he’d come the closest to Bonding with. She made it so easy to concentrate. To stay in control.

There was just too much—too many things that reminded him of _her_. He couldn’t keep his suspicions to himself.

He went to Mayfair.

“Jane has the same scar.” Weller looked at Mayfair. “She’s the right age. I know why it’s me. I know why my name is on her back. I think Jane is Taylor Shaw.”

Mayfair sighed and sat down next to Kurt. “You think Jane is Taylor Shaw.”

“I don’t know why, I don’t know who but—someone sent her back to me.”

“Taylor Shaw has been missing for twenty-five years,” Mayfair returned.

“Yeah, and?” He swallowed. “I feel drawn to her. I feel like…” He took a breath. “She’s a Guide. She’s _my_ Guide. I think. And yes, I believe she’s Taylor Shaw. She smells the same. Her heartbeat is the same.”

She shook her head. “We’ll run a DNA test, Weller but don’t—”

“You know a Sentinel’s scent imprint is as good as DNA in a court of law. It’s Taylor. Run the test but I know it’s her.”

“I just want to be sure. We run the test, and then you can tell her.”

“Fine.”

_She is Taylor Shaw._

***

Ending her day with a man bleeding to death on the floor of her apartment wasn’t _exactly_ how she imagined her evening. She’d been hoping for a shower, another batch of take out to see if she preferred anchovies and then a dreamless sleep.

Instead, she got to sit on the sidelines in a therapy session with Dr. Borden. And that was only making her feel more frustrated.

“Do you feel safe Jane?”

“I can handle myself.”

“That’s not what I asked. Do you trust the FBI to keep you safe?” Dr. Borden leaned forward, eyeing his recalcitrant patient.  

She frowned. _I trust Kurt._ She wasn’t so sure about the FBI.

“Agent Weller confirmed with me that you’re a Guide,” he went on. “I think it might be a good idea if someone from the Sandburg Center came and did a full evaluation. You’ve been showing signs of empathic distress, Jane.”

Jane made a face. “Whether or not I’m a Guide, I’d be showing signs of distress,” she snapped. “A man died in my house last night. I’ve been shot. Oh yeah, and someone _wiped my memory_ and _covered me in tattoos_.”

“Regardless, you need to be evaluated. I’ll make an appointment.”

“Fine.”

***

Given the mood she was already in Jane was getting _really_ tired of being told to wait in the car.

“Keep an eye on the parking lot,” she muttered. _Asshole._ She picked up the file, getting another look at their suspects and sighing. If this wasn’t bad enough, she was _positive_ he and Mayfair had been talking about her this morning and he’d brushed it off. She rolled her eyes and got out of the car, wandering toward one of the store fronts.

And spotting one of their guys. _Got you._ She followed him into the store, trying to play it cool. He spotted her, eyes going wide.

“Wait—I just have some questions,” she said.

“Sure.” He dropped his bag and ran.

Jane followed, running right into a trap. He got her down on the ground.

“Who are you?” he snapped.

“I was hoping you could tell me.”

“What?”

He had a gun—and then someone started firing. Jane looked behind her and spotted Zapata. Reade and Weller weren’t far behind her.

Weller hung back while Reade and Zapata pursued the suspect.

He gave Jane a sharp look. “What happened?”

“He got the jump on me.”

“Why didn’t you call us from the car?”

“If I didn’t follow him he would’ve gotten away.”

Zapata and Reade ran back to them.

Zapata shook her head. “He did. Get away. We lost him.”

Kurt growled and grabbed Jane by the arm. “Were you even in the car when you spotted him?”

Jane bit her lip before shaking her head. “No.”

“Reade, Zapata, go to the car.”

His teammates glanced at each other quickly before hurrying off.

“I would never have seen him from the car,” Jane said. “My vantage was awful.”

“I guess we’ll never know, will we?” He shook his head. “You are making it very hard for me to trust you, Jane. What would have happened if you’d been hurt? If I’d lost you?”

Jane flinched at the depth of the grief in his last remark. Uncertain where it came from, but impressed by its intensity. _You upset your Sentinel._ She wasn’t sure what to say to him.

“You went after an armed suspect with no weapon and no radio—”

“If you’d just give me a gun—”

He raised his eyebrows, turned her slightly and swatted her once, hard. She yelped and tried to pull away, glaring at him for all she was worth. Kurt didn’t wait for an invitation, laying down a dozen more smacks while she protested.

A memory came back to her as the last stinging swat fell on her jean-clad backside.

“What the hell were you thinking?” The same stinging pain. “You could have been killed.” The man standing over her glared at her. “I told you to stay back.”

“And I told you that I was going to do what I had to do!”

Jane shook her head clear of the memory and glanced at Kurt, he still looked mad, but he also looked—expectant.

“Well?” he prompted.

“Well what?”

He shook his head, and tugged her back into the store, leading her into the parking lot. “You are going to get into the car and when we get back you and I are going to have a longer discussion about obeying orders.”

“You can’t do that,” she tried to tug herself free.

“You want to be part of this team, that means facing the consequences when you disobey orders.”

***

Dr. Borden was waiting for Jane when they got off the elevator, a woman with a visitor badge was with him.

Kurt raised his eyebrows.

“Sorry, but we need to borrow Jane,” Dr. Borden said. “This is Dr. Lewis from the Sandburg Center, she’s here to evaluate Jane.”

He made a face. “Fine.” Kurt looked at Jane. “We’ll talk later.”

She winced and hurried to join Dr. Borden and Dr. Lewis, grateful for the reprieve.

Which meant she got left behind when the team went out again. The testing felt familiar, but Jane couldn’t help but notice that Dr. Lewis seemed to be getting more troubled as they went on. Finally, Jane was left to wait until Dr. Lewis finished reviewing the results.

Dr. Borden and Dr. Lewis joined her in the session room a half hour later.

“So—what do the results say?” Jane asked, bouncing her leg.

“You are definitely a Guide, but you knew that already,” Dr. Lewis started. “You’ve rated _very_ highly. Alpha Guides are rare, Jane. Documented. But we have no previous record of you.”

Jane raised her eyebrows. _Alpha Guide._

“We find it’s usually best if Guides of your caliber are kept quiet. To prevent…mishaps.”

“You mean to keep Sentinels from trying to Bond with me without my consent.” Jane made a face. “As if I didn’t have enough to worry about.”

“Yes, well—I understand you seem to have a connection with a Sentinel on staff here, Kurt Weller?”

 _My Sentinel._ “I guess.” Jane shrugged.

“He’s highly controlled,” Dr. Lewis remarked. “All five-senses, Alpha designation. If you chose to Bond with him, it wouldn’t be the worst decision.”

Jane shook her head. “I’m in no place to even consider Bonding. I don’t even know my own name.” She swallowed. “But—thanks? I guess.”

“I’m going to register you as Jane Doe with the Center. You are going to have to come in at least once but after that it’ll be up to you whether you come in or not.” Dr. Lewis pulled a piece of paper from her file. “All Guides have to carry ID, this is your temp.”

“Okay.” Jane took the paper. “Thanks. I guess.”

_Jane Doe. Guide. Navy Seal. I keep finding adjectives._

_But I can’t find me._

***

Kurt didn’t get the chance to have that talk with her when he got back either, their suspect woke up. He escorted her to the hospital to see him. He knew she was hoping this man, with his matching Seal tattoo, would know her.

And then all hell broke loose. In the end, the suspects were dead, and Jane was left with just one more word to add to the list. _Orion._ Whatever the hell that meant.

There was a pause before heading back to the FBI, Mayfair insisted Kurt and Jane get medical exams first. It was late by the time they finally got back to the office, and Jane was sort of hoping that with everything that had happened, Kurt had forgotten all about that talk he wanted to have with her.

And then Mayfair surprised her by authorizing her to carry a firearm—provided she passed the certification.

“So,” Jane approached Kurt. “You recommended I should get a gun, thanks.”

He smiled. “Well, you really had my back in the hospital. I _do_ trust you, Jane.”

She flushed.

“Weller,” Patterson jogged up, still energetic and no doubt full of coffee. “I got those test results—for that thing.” She glanced at Jane and then back at Kurt, looking for confirmation.

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “It’s all right, I told her.”

“You told her?”

Kurt turned to Jane. “We ran your DNA against Taylor Shaw’s.”

Jane moved closer to Patterson. “And?”

Patterson smiled. “And it’s a match. I ran it against three samples. You are, Taylor Shaw.”

Taylor Shaw, a girl that went missing twenty-five years ago. Kurt’s childhood friend. His reason for going into law-enforcement. Jane reached out, taking Kurt’s hand and looking him in the eyes. _But is that who I really am? Who did Taylor become in those twenty-five years? What happened to me?_

Kurt squeezed her hand gently. “We’re getting closer.”

Jane nodded. _How much closer?_

“Come on, I’ll take you to your new safe house,” he nodded toward the elevator.

“Okay.”

“And then we can have that talk about this morning.”

Jane winced. She should’ve known he wouldn’t forget. The bastard. _Why would I want to Bond with him? One minute he trusts me and the next I’m in the way._ She sighed.

 _But I do want to._ Her instincts were telling her, every time they touched, every time their eyes met—he was _her_ Sentinel. She’d be stronger with him. He’d be stronger with her.

But how could she make a commitment like that, when she barely knew who she was?

_I can’t. Not yet._

But it wasn’t _never_. It was just, _not yet._  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be playing Dr. Frankenstein with the timeline from here on out, I think.


	2. Tactile Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane gets closer to Kurt. Spoilers for episodes 4-6

“A sex dream is perfectly normal,” Dr. Borden said. “Really.”

Jane sighed. She couldn’t help remember it. Heat and limbs, sweat slick skin and passionate sounds—short dark hair and the stubble of a beard against her cheek. There was a ring on her finger and as she twisted toward his chest she saw ink on flesh—a tree with long roots on his forearm. It was terribly familiar.

“But I don’t know who I’m dreaming about.” She made a face.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be a specific person.”

“Well it’s not Kurt.”

“I never said it was.” Dr. Borden raised an eyebrow. “But the two of you do share a bond of some kind.”

“Well it can’t be him, he doesn’t have a tattoo like the one I saw. A tree with roots.”

“Dreams don’t always mean what they seem. A tree could just mean stability. Strength. Memory. It doesn’t have to be literal.”

She frowned. _The man in the dream wasn’t Kurt but—I wanted it to be him._

“How did you visit to the Sandburg Center go?” Dr. Borden prompted.

“Fine, I guess. They gave me a permanent ID. It says I’m Taylor Shaw.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Weird? A bit.” She chewed her lip. “They tested my shielding. Apparently I was trained at some point. Not that I remember.”

“But you are remembering some things,” Dr. Borden said. “Just take it one day at a time.”

Jane sighed. _Right. One day at a time._

***

“Oh my god it’s you!”

Jane wasn’t sure what to make of the smiling blond woman in front of her. _Sarah_ , she reminded herself. _Sarah and Sawyer._ She smiled back.

“It’s like—really you. Come on in, come on in. Oh my god—you are like so pretty. Come here.”

Jane accepted the hug with a flinch, thankful when she heard a timer go off.

“That’s dinner!” Sarah took a step back and headed for the kitchen. “Sawyer, wash up!”

Jane glanced at Kurt. “Smells good.”

“No, it doesn’t.” He shook his head.

She smiled. “No it doesn’t.”

“Sarah has trouble with Sentinel-friendly food,” Kurt confided. “You want a drink?”

“Yeah.” Jane nodded. “That would be good.”

***

She didn’t really expect to end the evening running out of the apartment. Kurt followed her though, obviously concerned. She could _feel_ his concern.

“I can’t do this,” she said.

“That’s okay,” he took her hand in his. “No one expects you to be Taylor overnight.”

“That’s just I—I don’t think.” The elevator arrived and she tugged her hand free. “I just can’t do this.”

“Jane, talk to me—Jane.”

The elevator door closed between them and Jane slumped against the wall. The memory was still haunting her. She was a little girl, and a man came into her room and took her. _Someone took me._

***

The memory continued to haunt her, even as they worked the newest case. Heading down the stairs into the vault area of the bank brought it into sharper focus.

And then she got the pleasure of meeting the CIA. The man who introduced himself as Carter made her uncomfortable. _Really_ uncomfortable. But there was something else too. Something about this entire situation that felt _off_. A man she’d passed on the way in had a strange feeling about him. Something that didn’t read the same as the fear she felt from the others.

She was only too happy to be dismissed, Zapata following her to the van. Following her suspicion, she pulled up the security footage. She might not be a Sentinel, but she was trained to observe and come to conclusions—that was pretty obvious.

It hadn’t been a robbery or even an execution—it was a rescue and that man that had felt so different—now she knew why.

***

_“I feel like you’re waiting for me to remember something that’s never going to come.”_

_“If your coming back has shown me one thing—it’s to never give up hope.”_

The team prepped to go after the radioactive material. Jane and Kurt settled in to watch the tac teams do the initial sweep from the monitors at the office. Jane wanted to stay close to him.

_We’ve got a staircase to the basement._

The memory started up again. A man taking her hand and leading her out of her bedroom.

_Beds. We got beds down here. Who the hell could sleep in this place?_

A man led her down into a dark room. There were beds. Pallets on the floor. Other children. Hopeless eyes staring back at her. Their emotions pressing in on her. She swallowed and hurried out of the room, heart pounding in her ears.

Kurt caught the change in rhythm in a flash, following her out into the hall. Her eyes were wide and he could smell the fear coming off of her. The urge to protect, to claim, was stronger than ever in the face of it.

“Jane?” he kept his tone as gentle as he could, stepping closer to her. He couldn’t help the surge of _yes_ , when she clung to his shirt.

“I saw who took me.” She breathed. “When I was little. There was a stairwell and this room. All of these children.” Her eyes were unfocused. “What was he doing?”

“Did you see his face? Jane?”

“No. I just—I just saw his hands,” she stumbled over the words. “And he was—he was.” Her eyes filled with unshed tears, hands trembling. “Oh no. What-what happened to me?”

He pulled her closer, pressing her hand over his heart. “You feel that? Focus on that. Breath with me.” Her heartbeat slowed to beat in time with his own. Her breathing eased. Kurt took a breath and pulled her into his arms. She pressed her ear to his chest, concentrating on that heartbeat.

The heartbeat that told her she was safe. _My Sentinel._ She heard something else then, a flutter—feathers. She glanced up, spying something on Kurt’s shoulder. A small gray, black and white bird with a sharp looking beak. _Loggerheaded Shrike_ , her brain helpfully supplied. _Bandit. His name is Bandit._ She swallowed in recognition of what he was. Some Guides and Sentinels had them. _Non-corporeal animal companions_. NCAC’s. Knack’s. They were meant to help you learn. Help you see things.

 _Bandit likes Kurt_.

The little bird made a chirping sort of sound and Jane was a bit surprised to see Kurt react to the noise. She smiled.

“What is that?” Kurt asked.

“Bandit, my knack.” She nodded at his shoulder. “He likes you. I think.”

Kurt glanced over at the weightless being and blinked in surprise. “I can see him.”

Jane swallowed.

“Is everything all right out here?” Reade interrupted the moment and Bandit vanished.

“Yeah,” Kurt nodded. “We’re all right.”

_We’re all right._

***

Kurt was pretty sure that she didn’t even know she was doing it, but every time he even _thought_ he was going to zone, Jane was there. She would say something or put her hand in his, pulling him out of it before it even started. She was guiding him instinctively, as though they were already Bonded. As though they’d worked together their whole lives.

Their unit only had one other Sentinel on the team, and while Patterson might have been a bit unconventional she’d been Bonded for nearly a year now—and he needed some insight.

He headed into work early, knowing full well that the bright blonde would already be in, caffeinated and probably already cracked another of Jane’s tattoos. He wasn’t completely wrong. She was in her lab, and her Guide, David, was with her. The young man had a hand on her elbow, and seemed to be grounding her as she studied a piece of evidence. Pretty normal behavior. While David had a day job as a crossword puzzle designer for the Times, as Patterson’s Guide he’d been vetted for clearance with the FBI and was officially listed as a consultant.

Kurt waited patiently for Patterson to dial back down to normal levels, David quietly praising her.

“Good morning, Agent Weller,” David said.

Patterson took notice of him then. “Oh, Kurt. What’s up?”

“I—I actually came to talk to you about…Bonding.” He made a face. As an Alpha Sentinel, he’d had a lot of offers over the years. He’d even come close last year with his last semi-permanent Guide, Allie, but it hadn’t worked out.

“Oh?” Patterson smiled. “Is this about Jane?”

“Sort of—yes.” He made a face. “I can’t help but notice she’s been guiding me unconsciously. Pulling me out of a zone before I’ve even realized I’m doing it. It’s all instinct. Like we’ve—”

“Known each other forever?” David asked.

Kurt nodded. “Yeah.”

“That’s _exactly_ how I felt when I was matched with David,” Patterson admitted. “It was just—a perfect fit. My missing puzzle pieces.”

David smiled. “You’ve probably seen some other signs of preliminary Bonding, right?” David prompted. “Knack cohesion. Protect instincts on overdrive.”

“I did see her knack, yeah,” Kurt admitted. “It’s a bird of some kind.”

“Hm.” Patterson blinked. “That’s interesting. Not uncommon for Guides to have birds as knacks.”

“True,” David added. “She does have a bird motif tattoo on her neck. Doesn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Kurt walked over to the computer banks, bringing up the photo. “It does _kind of_ look a bit like that.”

“There’s a database of birds by markings,” Patterson stepped up, bringing up the website. “Start with color.”

“It was grey, with a black band at the eyes and a white breast.” Kurt typed into the database, scrolling through the images until he found the right one. “There, the _Loggerheaded Shrike_.” He clicked on it. “That’s what I saw.”

“Oh, they are a bird of prey—known for impaling their prey on thorns.” Patterson blinked. “Because their talons aren’t very strong. That’s pretty clever.”

“So they use tools,” David nodded. “Problem solvers.”

“And it’s tattooed on her neck?” Kurt raised his eyebrows.

“ _Maybe_ ,” Patterson stressed. “I’ll add the information to the search parameters, it might turn up something. In the meantime, you really should talk to Jane.” Patterson raised her eyebrows. “You know. About Bonding.”

“I don’t want to put any more pressure on her,” Kurt returned. “She’s been through a lot. I don’t just want her to Bond with me because I’m the first Sentinel she’s come across.”

Patterson snorted. “Please. If you two were any more compatible she would have Bonded with you the moment you touched the first time.” She made a face. “In fact, I’m surprised she didn’t, given the situation.”

Kurt shook his head. “ _If_ we Bond, we’ll do it right. Have you solved any new tattoos?”

“Yes, actually.” She smiled. “The owl.”

“Great. Let’s get the team in here.”

***

Kurt headed into the locker room after his talk with Patterson. Jane was already there.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Morning.” He frowned. “Your holster is in the wrong position again.”

Jane glanced down. “Right, sorry.” She moved to fix it, feeling a flush of embarrassment. She wasn’t sure why she couldn’t get this right when so many other things came to her as naturally as breathing. “I guess there’s just a lot of new stuff for me to remember.”

“I know, but having your gun in the wrong position in a fire fight could cost someone their life.” After a moment he flashed a brief smile. “If I remind you again, it’ll be with smack on the ass.”

She flushed, but felt the touch of teasing in his seriousness. “Jerk.”

“Is that any way to talk to your SO?”

“I could call you names in Russian instead,” she replied.

He shook his head. “Uh huh. Come on, we have a briefing to get to.”

***

Their raid yielded a seventeen-year-old hacker named Ana Montes with a bad attitude. Zapata made an attempt at talking to her, but all they got was her iron-clad insistence that she worked for the NSA. Jane watched the interview from the side room, waiting until the coast was clear to go in and talk to Ana herself.

She could feel the girl’s confusion and fear—deep seated grief. They talked about the owl, and Ana’s brother—dead now. The conversation was winding down when Kurt came into the room, shooting Jane a look that promised a talk later.

“We spoke to the NSA,” Kurt said.

“And?” Ana prompted. “Did you find Leonard Gayle?”

“He doesn’t exist.” Kurt set the file down on the table, opened it and pushed it toward her. “Look at these.”

Jane felt he clench of disgust followed by fear as Ana looked at the photos. “My software was just supposed to be a proof of concept.” She closed the file. “No one was ever supposed to use it.”

Kurt watched her closely, taking in the details of her heart rate, pupil dilation. She wasn’t lying. “Then you need to help us shut it down.”

“Before anyone else gets hurt,” Jane added. “Please.”

Ana swallowed. “Okay. Okay. But I _can’t_ shut it down. I don’t have the code anymore, you want Shawn. Shawn Palmer. He approached me online a few months ago. He said the NSA wanted to test their GPS security. The program has to be on his server.”

“You didn’t look into Shawn’s story?” Jane asked.

“I thought he was looking out for me. I just—”

“You wanted it to be true.”

“What do you need me to do?”

***

“You shouldn’t have gone in there, with Ana,” Kurt said. “You shouldn’t be interrogating suspects.”

“I was talking to her.”

“And now your emotionally invested in her.”

“Yeah, and?” She raised her chin. “It’s hard for me not to.”

“You wanted to be treated like an FBI agent, Jane. You wanted a weapon—”

“Which you agreed to because it was too dangerous for me to go into the field without one.” She frowned. “What’s this about really? You tell me I need to be objective but it’s pretty clear you aren’t being objective about me.”

Kurt frowned. “No, I’m not.” He sighed. “I don’t know if I ever was.”

Their conversation was cut short by the next part of the operation.

In the end, they got the software off line and arrested Shawn. Ana, for her part was probably going to end up with probation. Jane walked her to the elevator, again feeling like she needed to reach out. Do something. She felt—attached. Ana was all alone too. She needed a friend. There was something else there, too. Something drawing her to Ana that she didn’t completely understand.

“Hey, if you—If you ever need someone to talk to,” Jane started. “I mean. We could go get coffee or see a movie?” She dug a card out of her pocket. “Here.”

Ana frowned and then nodded, taking the card. “Yeah. Maybe.”

Jane smiled and walked away from the elevator feeling mildly better. She heard the flutter of wings again, when she glanced over, she could see Bandit standing on the floor next to the elevator. He didn’t look happy.

“I need to talk to you,” Kurt drew her attention away.

She frowned, following him into the locker room.

“Are you seriously trying to make friends with a suspect?” he raised his eyebrows.

“She’s not a suspect anymore,” Jane returned. “She’s just a kid. She’s _completely_ alone in this world and she needs something in her life other than her work.”

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly. The subtext was pretty clear. _I need something in my life other than my work._ It wasn’t just about Ana.

“You know, if you ever want to come have a drink with the team…”

Jane frowned. “It’s a little hard to relax when everyone has been staring at pictures of your naked body all day.”

“I guess I can understand that.” He blinked as he realized that Jane’s knack was back, perched on top of the lockers.

Jane made a face and her brow furrowed. She heard something—like something was brushing against the lockers. She glanced behind Kurt and her eyes widened. “Kurt.”

“Yeah?”

“Is your—is your knack a… _bear_?”

“Yeah.” He glanced behind him. “She doesn’t usually come out though.” He turned back to her. “Her name is Beatrice.”

“Beatrice bear?” Jane smiled.

He shook his head. “Yeah. Yeah. What’s your little friend’s name?”

“Bandit,” Jane admitted.

“Oh and that’s better?”

“I was a kid…” Jane frowned. “I was a kid.” She swallowed. “I was a kid.” Her eyes widened. “I remember that. When I came online I was a kid.”

Kurt smiled. “That’s good, you remembering.”

Jane smiled back. “Yeah.” She huffed a soft laugh. “Yeah.”

David skidded to a stop outside the locker room. “Guys, Patterson needs you right now.” His head tilted. “Did you know that your knacks are both— _present_?”

“You can see them?” Jane asked. “Both of them?”

“They’re kind of fuzzy, but yeah.” He seemed impressed. “Neat. But off topic. Ana is in trouble.”

Jane didn’t need to be told twice.

***

“I hacked into Ana’s webcam after I got her SOS and we got this.” Patterson pulled up the footage.

“The guy with the gun, can you capture his face enough to use facial recognition software?” Kurt asked.

“Working now,” Patterson replied.

“That’s Ana’s apartment,” Jane said.

“And that man is a Russian gun runner.” Patterson pulled up the file. “Go. I’ll keep working on this end.”

***

Ana was a smart girl, smart enough to leave them the VIN number of the vehicle the Russian’s were after. The team headed out.

“She’s going to be all right,” Kurt tried to reassure Jane.

“I thought I was too invested,” she replied.

“We’re all invested now.”

***

They drove into the truck yard, met by a hail of gunfire and a Russian with a rocket launcher, diving out of the car in a rush. Jane ended up pinned down with Zapata, but there was no sign of Ana.

Jane ducked down behind the stack of construction beams, trying to spot an opening— _Bandit._ Her dainty little knack fluttered in the air, drawing her attention to a black van. Moments later, she saw one of the armed men open the side door—Ana. Jane glanced at Zapata. “Cover me.”

“What?” Zapata raised her eyebrows. “Hey!”

Jane hurried off, low to the ground. She dove into the van through the back doors, firing once and taking out the guard on Ana. “I’ve got you,” she said, pulling the girl closer to her. Ana’s eyes were dilated. “Hey, Ana?”

A flicker of color drew her attention. A lean, spotted jaguar crouched behind the driver’s seat, yawning wide to show off huge teeth.

Jane’s eyes widened as she realized what Bandit had been trying to tell her.

“Ana, I need you to concentrate on the sound of my voice.” She pulled Ana out of sight, tugging the gag out of the girl’s mouth and putting a hand on her face. “Come on, just focus on me. I’ve got you.”

An explosion rocked the van, but Jane kept talking, and finally, Ana blinked, eyes refocusing on Jane. “What—what happened? I don’t feel good.”

“It’s okay, Ana. You…you just came online, that’s all. It’s okay.”

“Online?” Ana raised her eyebrows and then closed her eyes. “Everything is too loud.”

“I know. I know, just keep concentrating on my voice and the feel of my hand, okay?”

Kurt found them first, taking in the scene in the van quickly before turning to Reade. “I need you to call in for support from the Center, we have a newly online Sentinel.”

Reade’s eyebrows rose. “Ana?”

“Yeah.”

“I did _not_ see that coming.”

***

Kurt and Jane headed into the Center with Ana, as they were technically the first responders to the scene. Jane stayed with Ana all the way, which the Center Guide didn’t seem to mind all that much. The man knew an Alpha Guide when he saw one, he wasn’t going to interfere when it seemed pretty clear that Ana was stabilizing with Jane there to guide her.

Dr. Lewis was there to evaluate Ana when they arrived at the facility, moving the kid into the Sentinel wing and getting her showered and changed before she ended up having a reaction to the clothes she was wearing, or her makeup or jewelry. Ana was a bit indignant about it but seemed to understand it was in her best interest for the moment.

“It’s just until you get your senses under control,” Kurt said as they settled into the room Ana had been assigned. “I know it sucks, believe me, but it’s better to be irritated you can’t wear your rings than get a contact rash.”

Ana nodded somewhat glumly. “I guess. I—I feel fine now though.”

“The room was made for a Sentinel,” Kurt explained. “Every material they used is rated for minimum sensory impact. Even the colors. The air is filtered and there’s a white noise generator in the walls.”

“Wow.” Ana blinked. “It must cost a lot.”

“From what I’ve seen so far,” Jane said. “You’re a five-sense Sentinel. Ana, you—”

“You really aren’t going to have to worry about money anymore,” Kurt finished. “And if you want to work for the NSA…”

“Oh.” Ana snorted. “Wow. Not how I pictured my day ending.”

“I bet not.”

There was a knock on the door and Dr. Lewis entered with a teenage girl. “Ana, this is Josie, she’s your temp—”

Ana’s nostrils flared. “ _Guide_.” Her eyes dilated. “You smell like flowers and sunshine.”

Josie licked her lips. Kurt could hear the young Guide’s heart rate pick up. He glanced at Jane and then at Dr. Lewis.

“Why don’t we leave them to get acquainted?” Kurt suggested.

Jane nodded. “Yeah. I’ll come visit you, Ana.”

“Okay.” Her tone was distracted.

Dr. Lewis smiled, pushed Josie a bit further into the room and followed Kurt and Jane out.

“That normally happen?” Jane asked. “An immediate response like that?”

Dr. Lewis shook her head. “It’s not typical, no. Josie is just a very good Guide, I had no expectations that they might match.”

“Well. We should get going,” Kurt said. “But keep up us updated on Ana?”

“Of course Sentinel Weller.”

He nodded curtly and they headed back to the FBI to fill out the paperwork that was no doubt waiting for them.

***

As Jane got back to her safe house, she couldn’t help thinking about the instant Ana met Josie’s eyes, the connection the was so intensely obvious between them. She couldn’t help think about the connection between her and Kurt. She wanted to Bond with him. She knew they were matched. She knew it in her bones. She was pretty damn sure he knew it too. And what about Bandit and Beatrice? The knacks appearing like that meant that their animal companions were pushing for the Bond as well.

It was a lot to take in.

The minute she stepped into the house, she felt like something was—off. There was an emotional presence that didn’t below to her security detail. Someone new. Not new. Familiar but unfamiliar.

She licked her lips, padding through the house looking for evidence of the intruder. A draft from a change in air pressure warned her before she even saw him. She caught the arm swinging toward her, throwing the man into the wall with a soft grunt of effort and slipping into a defensive posture immediately.

The man grunted, turning around to face her.

 _I know that face._ She looked him over and caught something else that was _definitely_ familiar. A tattoo on his arm of a tree. _The man from my dream._

A half a beat later she felt something else. _He’s a Sentinel._

“Who are you?” she demanded.

His lips twitched into a smile. “I know why you don’t remember but—it still hurts.”

“You—did you do this to me? Take my memories? The tattoos? What about the other guy? The guy with the beard? Did you know him?” She swallowed, leaning back away from him. _Sentinel._ She felt some connection between them. It was strong. _I’ve guided for him._ The realization came as a shock. _I slept with him._ But there was no Bond between them.

“No…you did this.” He shook his head. “This was all your plan.”

“No.” She shook her head. She could feel the tenor of his emotions. Confidence. Uncertainty Grief. Something else beneath it all.

 _Love_?

He crowded close, putting his hand on her face and breathing in her scent. “You smell like another Sentinel.” He swallowed. “It was supposed to be you and me. A Bond.”

“Yeah, well I don’t feel it,” she replied. “So you can either give me answers or you can get out.” She shoved him away from her.

He sighed. “Taylor—”

“So that is me, isn’t it? I am Taylor Shaw.”

“Yes—”

“What _happened_ to me?”

“You aren’t ready for that yet.” He backed away.

“Not ready? It’s _my_ life.”

“I’ll contact you again—soon.” He smiled. “I promise.”

She couldn’t pinpoint what it was that made her stay quiet as he slipped away. A desire to keep some part of herself a secret from the FBI? Curiosity about this stranger that wasn’t really a stranger? She wasn’t sure.

The only thing she _was_ sure of, was that this mystery Sentinel was trouble.

And she needed to take a shower. She didn’t want Kurt smelling this guy on her in the morning.

She could only imagine that conversation. _Oh yeah, that. Well, the Sentinel you’re smelling is this guy I’ve been having sex dreams about and I think I guided him once but I don’t remember and oh, he might be behind all of these tattoos._

No. She wasn’t ready to bring this to Kurt. Not yet.

Just. Not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're diverging from Cannon! Woohoo!


	3. The Scent of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains spoilers for episode 7. This is a fix-it fic, so you will notice things changing, including timelines, character deaths that don't happen and in general, Kurt being more aware of what's going on with his team. 
> 
> Warning, here there be a spanking.

The next morning, Kurt arrived at Jane’s safe house to pick her up. He figured she would want to stop by and see Ana before they headed into the office. The moment he entered the safe house, however, he was struck by a scent. Male. Sentinel. _Alpha._ He hackles rose, and the growl escaped his throat before he could stop himself.

Jane, on the stairs, frowned and then realized her mistake. She’d showered, sure, but she _forgot_ to wipe down the walls and floor. Or light a candle. Or just spray the place down with bleach. _Yeah, because that would have been less suspicious._

“Was someone here?” Kurt asked sharply.

“Uh—no.” She swallowed, intensely aware that while she was pretty sure she could lie to anyone else—even another Sentinel—she couldn’t actually lie to Kurt. _My Sentinel._

“You just lied to me.” His eyes widened in disbelief. “Who was here, Jane?”

“No one.” Now that she’d said it once, she was having a hard time back tracking.

“ _Jane_ , I can _smell_ him. It’s not any of your detail, I know all of their scent profiles. If you invited someone into this house, that’s a huge breach of security—if someone _broke in_ , you should have called.” He raised his eyebrows. “Which was it Jane?”

Jane fidgeted, uncomfortable under the intensity of his gaze. “Uh.” She chewed on her lip, ducking her head.

“ _Jane_ ,” he growled. “Look at me and tell me what happened.”

She raised her chin very slowly, meeting his stern gaze again and fidgeting in discomfort. “I came home last night and he was here.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know. Well—he didn’t give me a name but I think _knew_ him. Once.” She frowned. “He said some things, I think he’s part of whatever group did this to me.” She gestured at herself.

“And you didn’t tell your detail.”

“No.”

“And you had no intention of telling anyone, did you?” he pressed.

“I just wanted to—” She shook her head. “I wanted time to think about it.”

Kurt shook his head. “We’re moving you.” He strode forward, taking her by the arm and pulling her over to the couch. “First things first, we need to have a chat about you withholding information pertinent to your safety.”

Her stomach clenched. “Kurt—”

“You know full well you’ve earned yourself a spanking.” He sat down.

She could feel how upset he was, but she could also feel anxiety—fear. _Disappointment. Hurt._ She swallowed. _Why did I even try to lie to him?_ She couldn’t bring herself to fight him as he tugged her pants down and then pulled her over his lap. She let out a soft _oof_ as her stomach met his thigh.

“Please, Kurt—”

He swatted her sharply. “When we get to the office you are going to sit down with a sketch artist and give a full description of the man who broke in here and then you will write down _everything_ he said.” He waited a few moments before swatting again.

She could feel the air of expectation, he wanted a response. “Yes, sir.”

Kurt couldn’t help a moment’s pause as he stared down at the inked flesh of her thighs. The tattoos even showed through the thin white cotton of her underwear. He tightened his grip on her midsection and started spanking, unsurprised to see her kick. She’d been pretty squirmy the first time, which had surprised him given her military background. Corporal punishment was pretty common in all military branches, but special ops generally had even more stringent discipline.

The kicking was actually a bit endearing though. Kurt couldn’t help finding a tiny bit of pleasure in spanking Jane—or any of the members of his team that required that kind of disciplinary action. Her reaction the first time he’d swatted her for disobedience had read loud and clear that she’d been punished that way before or moreover, required it. Some people did. Patterson and her puppy of a Guide, David, had both ended up over his knee at one point or another. Reade generally took care of Zapata’s needs, although Kurt had done so a few times.

Every team member was different, but as team leader, it was his job to make sure they operated as a cohesive unit. To make sure that their needs were met so that when they were all in the field, they were working together.

Adding a flush of red to the pale skin visible in between lines of ink gave him a satisfied feeling because he knew he was doing what she _needed_ and also, because he was a tiny bit sadistic. She kicked and shouted—and he was pretty sure she was swearing at him in Russian.

“Are you swearing at me, young lady?” he demanded.

She whined, shaking her head.

“You really think it’s a good idea to lie to me when you’re already in trouble for lying?”

She spat something out that sounded particularly vile and he sighed, pausing to take down her underwear. She reached back in an attempt to stop him and he carefully took hold of her wrist, moving her hand out of the way before he resumed spanking.

“Oh no you don’t. You lost the right to underwear when you started swearing at me.”

She kicked a bit harder and he shifted her position on his lap, raising his knee to tip her forward, laying even, hard swats to her sit spots. She yelled a bit louder at that, but did stop swearing.

Jane was having a hard time believing she was in this position, _again_. The first time had been bad enough, but this time? This time she really felt guilty and not just frustrated. She did _lie_ to Kurt. She hadn’t even really wanted to lie to him.

She was intimately aware that he was getting her closer to the point where any anger she had left would collapse in the face of her very sore posterior and all she’d be left with was pain and remorse. She could, somewhat at a distance, admire his technique. He was efficient. Stern. Imposing. Everything combined to create an incredibly effective method.

“Uh huh, your attention stays right here, little bird.” Two quick swats to her thighs brought her mind back to the matter at hand.

“Kurt,” she whined through the tears that had suddenly started in earnest.  

“You were drifting,” he said sternly, “and your attention needs to be right here.” He continued spanking the already reddened globes of her bottom. “No more lying, Jane. No more withholding information. Is that clear?”

“Yes, sir!” She sobbed, her kicking stopped as she slumped over his lap in boneless submission. “I’m sorry—I’m sorry—I’m sorry!”

He continued on for a few more swats before calling it done and letting go of her hand to rub her back in slow circles. “That’s it, little bird. Good girl. All forgiven now.” He continued to rub her back and then shifted down to rub some of the sting from her bottom before he put her clothes back in order. It took little effort to get her up into his arms. “Take your time.”

She buried her face against his shoulder.

 _My Guide._ He held her tight, breathing in her scent. He was aware, vaguely, that he was already intimately familiar with it. _I’m partially imprinted on her,_ he realized. _Scent at least. Sound too probably._ He sighed. There wasn’t anything he could do about that now. And honestly, he didn’t want to.

Jane pulled her face free of his shoulder, peering up at him. “I’m sorry, Kurt.”

“I know.” He brushed her hair away from her face. “You ready to go into work?”

She took a breath and shook her head.

“That’s all right, take your time.”

With hesitant fingers, she reached out and touched his face. She licked her lips, leaned up and kissed him. She could feel his surprise, but it was quickly replaced by _happy_. He ran his fingers through her hair, kissing her back. When she pulled back, lips flushed, he could hear how fast her heart was beating. Kurt smiled.

“What was that for?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know I just—I had to.” She smiled shyly. “You have a hard hand.”

He smirked, and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Be good, little bird, and you’ll won’t have to find out how much harder it can be.”

Jane blushed. “Little bird?”

“Hmm,” he nodded. “Little bird.”

She let him hold her for a few more minutes before feeling ready to get up. He made her drink a glass of orange juice and then they headed out of the safe house. Jane could tell the security detail had overheard Kurt’s—discussion, with her. She could feel the flare of their embarrassment.

“This safe house is burned,” Kurt told them.

Both agents gave Jane a sharp look before glancing back at Kurt and nodding their understanding.

“All right then, let’s go.”

Jane had a feeling her _next_ safe house was going to be a bit less actual house and a bit more safe. As in four walls, a door and a very sturdy lock.

For some reason.

***

David and Patterson met them at the office excited to have solved another tattoo.

“It was something Ana said that got me thinking,” Patterson said. “She saw the black box that masked the Seal tattoo and suggested it might be hiding another message—she was right. The message was this turtle shell shape.” She pulled up the image on her monitor. “It’s actually the state stone of Michigan and _this_ section, is shaped like a county in Michigan.” She went through the rest of the details, David adding in factoids that were entertaining though not entirely pertinent until the conclusion—which led to the whole team prepping for a plane ride to Michigan.

Jane wasn’t sure this was a new experience she really wanted. She spent the initial take off sitting next to Zapata, but as the turbulence got worse, Kurt couldn’t help but move into the seat next to her, taking her hand and squeezing gently. “It’s okay.”

She nodded, but he could hear her heart race. As another bought of turbulence rocked them, she startled and Kurt put his arm around her shoulders, drawing her closer. She spent the rest of the flight just like that, more at ease with his arm around her.

A few hours later, walking through the woods with a hostile fugitive, she was feeling far less calm. The car had been disabled, their long arms and flak vests stolen and they had to get this bastard out of the woods and out of this county—before they all got killed.

Kurt was on high alert, sight and hearing dialed up to catch any hint of pursuit while Jane stuck close to him to make sure he stayed balanced.

Guerrero was starting to piss them all off. Prodding at them with pointed remarks.

_Snap._

“Everybody down,” Kurt shouted.

The shot rang out seconds after they’d all hit the deck.

“None of you are going to make it out of here alive,” Guerrero said.

Jane momentarily considered shooting the man as they exchanged fire with their ambushers. But even with the element of some surprise, the men in the woods weren’t really a challenge for an FBI Sentinel, Jane, Reade and Zapata. Once they were clear, Jane stood up, eyes locked on the three towers jutting out from the tree line.

Three towers, just like the tattoo between her shoulder blades that jut out over her shirt collar.

“Look. It’s a beacon.” She pointed.

“How did they know we’d be in this spot to see those oil derricks?” Reade argued.

“They didn’t. The derricks break above the tree line,” Kurt replied. “You can probably see them from just about anywhere.”

“You aren’t seriously following her tattoos around?” Guerrero asked.

“Let’s go,” Kurt ordered. “We can’t stay here.”

Reade shook his head, but didn’t argue further as they headed deeper into the woods, following the trail whoever had tattooed Jane had left for them.

***

They arrived at the derrick’s and headed into the shed built into the central derrick.

“All right, we’re here, now what?” Reade looked around.

Guerrero slumped to the floor while the team looked around. Jane walked over a section of floorboards and frowned.

“You hear that?”

Kurt cocked his head to one side. “It’s hollow—there’s something underneath.” Jane moved aside and Kurt knelt down, prying up at the floorboards. “Tasha, cuffs?”

Zapata pulled out her cuffs and handed them over. Kurt quickly pulled them open and pried the boards up, revealing a metal box below with a four letter alphabet lock. He and Reade pulled it up onto the floor, ignoring Guerrero’s remarks about their pay.

Jane stepped up to the lock and frowned.

“Any ideas?” Kurt asked.

“Jane?” Reade suggested.

“No, we gave her that name—try Shaw.”

“Try dead,” Guerrero said.

“Kurt,” Zapata said.

“What?”

“No, try _Kurt. K U R T._ ”

“Right, your name is right below the oil derricks on my back.” Jane flashed a smile at Tasha and entered it into the lock—it opened. “A map.” The map was drawn onto the inside of the box. A tray had water and head lamps, a first aid kit and clips. “There’s something underneath too.”

Kurt helped lift the tray free, revealing flak vests and arms that matched the clips. “Now what is all that doing here?”

“That’s our way out,” Jane said.

They got themselves kitted out and Kurt checked the water for contaminants, Tasha snapped a photo of the map.

“The water is safe,” Kurt said.

The radio they’d found blared— _They’re at the oil derricks._

Kurt frowned.

“Did they track us?” Reade asked.

“No—they tracked _him_.” Kurt pulled Guerrero to his feet, catching the scent of blood and putting it aside for the moment to check him over again.

“His watch,” Jane pointed out.

Kurt nodded, pulling off the watch and handing it over to her while he looked for the source of the smell of blood—Guerrero had jabbed his finger. Kurt frowned, spotting the star the man had drawn on the side of the support beam. “What’s this?”

“There’s a tracker in his watch,” Jane said.

“Don’t smash it, we don’t want them to know we’ve found it.” Kurt kept his eyes on Guerrero. “You trying to signal your people?”

“Maybe.”

Kurt made quick work of washing the symbol from the wall, but if there were any Sentinels out there with the hunting party they’d be able to pick up the trace of blood scent, maybe even spot the outline where the blood used to be. But for now, it was the best he could do.

“We have to split up. One group heads to rendezvous point and the other will take the tracker to confuse them.”

“I’ll go with you,” Jane volunteered.

“No, I want you with Guerrero—Tasha, with me.” Kurt jerked his head for the door. “Let’s go.”

Jane frowned. “You shouldn’t go without a Guide, Kurt. We don’t know how many of them are out there. There’s too much of a chance you could zone.” She straightened. “I’m the only Guide here.” _I’m your Guide. I’m in charge._

Kurt frowned, but she had a point. “All right. You and I will take Guerrero. Reade, Tasha—” He handed Tasha the watch. “You know what to do.”

Tasha nodded. “We got this.”

***

Hunkered down in the ranger station with bullets flying overhead, Jane wasn’t sure if Reade and Tasha were still coming, but she had to hope.

“How do you feel about holding down the fort?” she asked, pulling back from the window to avoid a volley.

Kurt gave her a look. “Are you insane?”

“I can run a flank and cut down the guys with heavy weapons,” she returned.

He growled. “I—I don’t think I can let you.” He gave her a look.

She eyed her Sentinel carefully. He was in too much stress. His pack was in danger and here was his Guide suggesting to go into _more_ danger. “I don’t know if we have a choice.”

He took a deep breath. “No. We wait—just a little bit longer.”

***

Tasha and Reade showed up just in time, taking out the men surrounding the ranger with quiet precision before running up to the door. “Jane? Weller?” Reade called.

“We’re here!” Jane replied, opening the door. “Just—stay calm. Kurt’s edgy.”

Kurt came out with Guerrero in hand, passing him off to Reade and then taking inventory of his team. “Are you two okay? Injuries?”

“We’re okay,” Tasha assured. “How the hell are we getting out of here?”

“Helicopter,” Kurt replied.

“Helicopter?” Reade mouthed, brow furrowed.

“We have to move,” Jane prompted, moving closer to Kurt. “Kurt needs to get back to his own territory.”

The team nodded in assent and made their way to the helicopter Kurt and Jane had scoped out earlier with help from the tattoo on her calf. More militia came at them as Jane struggled to get it started, but in the end it came back to her. Muscle memory guiding her hands to the right switches as she flew them out of danger, confident and cool under pressure.

***

The plane ride back was a different story.

“How can you fly a chopper out of a combat zone and _still_ be freaked out over a little turbulence?” Kurt teased gently. He took her hands.

“I think it has something to do with being in control,” she guessed.

He made a face. “Yeah, I guess I understand that.”

She was just happy to see that in the familiar space of the plane, surrounded by his pack, the near-feral state had given way to a much more relaxed Kurt. If he was relaxed enough to tease her then he was definitely feeling better.

 _My Sentinel._ It was getting harder and harder not to act on that desire.

_We’re in this together. I don’t want to be anywhere without you._

_We should Bond._ Bandit was fluttering on her shoulder again. _You need to Bond._

_My Sentinel._

***

The team arrived back at the office to applause, having successfully brought in one of the FBI’s most wanted without losing anyone in the process. Jane wasn’t sure how she felt about the attention. Reade and Tasha took Guerrero to holding. Mayfair came out of her office, a muddle of emotions.

Jane frowned, picking up pride, irritation, a touch of fear and something she couldn’t quite pinpoint.

“Good work,” Mayfair said. “Really.”

“Thank you, Director,” Kurt replied.

“And as much as I hate to distract you from that good work, we have a small problem with Patterson and Wagner.”

Kurt sighed. “When don’t we have a small problem with the dynamic duo? What’s up?”

“They went out on their own to track down a lead on Jane’s tattoos without informing anyone.” She made a face. “Obviously that’s a breach of protocol—not to mention reckless.”

Kurt frowned. “I take it they want me to handle it?”

“You know how this goes, you are the Alpha Sentinel in this pack. Patterson knows it.” Mayfair shrugged. “I left them in the lab, but they know to expect you.”

“All right. I’ll handle it. Jane, wait for me once you’re done in the locker rooms, I’ll escort you to your new safe house.”

She nodded sharply and walked away feeling—uneasy. There was something about Mayfair that was bothering her and she couldn’t pinpoint it.

_Maybe I’m just keyed up from the shoot out in the woods. Seeing things that aren’t there._

_Maybe_.

***

The new safe house was even closer to Kurt’s place than the last one. There were also bars on the windows. Not that she was surprised. Nor was she surprised by the _very_ fancy security system.

“Patterson had this installed,” Kurt remarked, punching in the code.

“That was nice of her.” Jane memorized the code. “Did you—I mean. I was there for your conversation with Mayfair about Patterson and David.”

He turned toward her, leaning against the wall. “Did I spank them?”

She nodded.

“Yes I did. They put themselves in danger. That, and lying, will earn you a spanking every time.” He raised his eyebrows. “Understand?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, then do you want to tell me what you’ll do if someone breaks in?”

“Call you. Tell my detail.” She fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

“That’s right, little bird.” He smiled. “This pack has a lot of hard-headed people in it.” He shook his head.

“Well, they do have you as a guideline,” she smirked.

Kurt laughed. “Yeah I guess you’re right.” He swallowed. “You know…today, when I suggested we split it up it was because I wanted to protect you. I was afraid something would happen to you.”

“I know.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I could feel it.”

“Jane I—I _want_ to Bond with you. I know you aren’t ready, but I thought you should know.” He took a deep breath. “This is me, stating my intentions.”

Jane took a deep breath. “I—I want that too. Not yet but— _soon_.” She glanced down at the floor and then back at him. “ _Soon_.”

Kurt radiated a feeling of joy. “Oh. Okay.” He smiled. “Soon.”

_My Guide._

_My Sentinel._

_Soon._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next, Tasha, guilt-ridden over her secrets, goes to Kurt to confess. Jane runs into the man with the tree tattoo again but this time, Kurt is there too. With the Sentinels facing off, the CIA causing trouble and Jane caught in the middle it's only a matter of time before someone gets killed.


	4. Entomb Neon Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tasha comes clean to Kurt. Jane meets someone unexpected and the pack gets a bit stranger.
> 
> Warning-sexy times.

The moment Tasha asked him for a quiet word, Kurt was positive there was something wrong. He thought there had been something bothering her since the case they ended up tangling with the CIA, but given that she and Reade _usually_ worked these things out between them, he’d thought she would be fine. She was definitely not. He could smell the sweat on her skin and the sour bite of old beer told him she hadn’t showered last night. He flipped on the white noise generator the moment they entered his private office and leaned against his desk.

“What’s going on Tasha?”

She took a deep breath before pulling something out of her jacket—a thick manila envelope. He took a sniff, catching the unique blend of paper and ink that made up the smell of money. “Carter—that CIA guy—he asked me for Jane’s file in exchange for paying off my gambling debts.” Her hands were shaking. “I’m in really deep with these guys and I was running out of time. I didn’t think. I know there wasn’t really much in her file but I still shouldn’t have done it.” She bit her lip, gaze fixed on the envelope. “I couldn’t bring myself to use the money.” She looked up at Kurt. “I don’t know what to do.”

Kurt swallowed, taking in what she’d said, trying to process. That Carter had found a weakness to exploit wasn’t a surprise, the man was CIA, if he hadn’t gotten to Tasha he would’ve found someone else.

“How much money?” he asked after a beat.

“Forty-thousand dollars.” Her hands were shaking. “My bookie, he works for people—people who make good on threats.”

Kurt took a deep breath, calming himself down a bit before he spoke again. “Tasha—we’re going to fix this, okay? First off, how much time do you have left with this bookie?”

“A day.”

“Okay.” Kurt rubbed his forehead. “Is there any way we can make a case against enough of these people to take them down?”

“Maybe?” She shrugged. “I don’t know.”

Kurt considered the cash for a moment. “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. We’ll enter the serial numbers into evidence and tag the bills. You pay your bookie and then we follow the money and we arrest the gang.”

Tasha nodded.

“As for giving Carter Jane’s file…” He shook his head. “You should have come to me. Or Reade.”

“I know.” She nodded. “I know I was—I was stupid.”

“You were scared and you made a bad decision,” he corrected.

“I should resign.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You are a member of my team, Tasha. More importantly, you are part of my pack. Besides, Carter thinks he owns you, which means he’ll probably come to you again and we can use that against him.” He straightened, taking the envelope from her hands and setting it on the desk. “Now, let’s take care of you so we can put this behind us, okay?”

“Okay.”

He pulled her in for a hug. “It’s going to be okay, Tasha, I promise.” _Because I’m going to kill that sonofabitch from the CIA the next time I lay eyes on him._

***

Jane spent her morning visiting Ana and getting to know Josie. The pair seemed to be doing pretty well and Ana was probably only going to be stuck at the center for another week or so—unless the pair bucked convention and Bonded ahead of Ana’s eighteenth birthday. It wasn’t unheard of, and while Josie was only eighteen herself it would still likely raise _some_ eyebrows. There were some people that just really liked to have something to feel indignant about.

Jane was walking through the Center lobby when an older man caught her attention with a frantic wave. He was short, with dark curly hair pulled back in a tail and an aura of exuberance. She identified him as a Guide in a second, blinked and pointed at herself to make sure he was looking at her. He nodded and she met him halfway.

“You’re Taylor Shaw, right?”

“I go by Jane, mostly, but yes.”

“Blair Sandburg.” He held out his hand.

She shook it somewhat instinctively. “You mean like, _the Sandburg Center_ , Sandburg?”

“Yeah, but please, call me Blair.”

She blinked. “Oh. Did you need me for something?”

“I just wanted to chat. Do you have time for coffee? No one’s noticed I’m here yet so…”

“Okay.”

“I can feel your confusion,” he said gently. “That’s all right. Really, I just want to talk.”

“Where is your Sentinel?” she asked.

“Jim is in a meeting with the New York Alpha. Don’t worry, he knows I wander.”

Jane nodded. “All right.”

“Brilliant.” Blair smiled and led the way to the center’s café and ordered them both a coffee before settling down in a corner table with a good view of all the exits.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Jane took a sip of coffee, trying to get a firmer read on the other Guide. His shields were solid, but she could still get a general empathic read. He seemed happy to see her, which was a change from Dr. Lewis and she wasn’t picking up any facial cues that suggested he might be trying to deceive her.

“Well, Dr. Lewis sent me your test results.”

“She seemed—upset. During the testing that is. And she’s kind of, _off_ whenever I’m around her.”

“Yeah…it’s just, your test results were unusual. Not just because you have strong gifts, but because your shields are—peculiar.”

“How so?” Jane leaned in a bit.

“While you present your emotional states normally, from an empathic standpoint you’re—a blank. I can’t get a read off of you at all. In fact, you seem to be able to shield to the point where your physiological responses are shut off. Which explains the results of your polygraph exam. The examiner thought you might have sociopathic tendencies.”

Jane blinked. “What? I’m not a sociopath.” _At least, I’m pretty sure I’m not._

“No, you just have shields tight enough to hide yourself from any Guide in the building. Even your aura is tamped down to your skin. You don’t project at all, though I don’t doubt that you could. Most Guides have three layers of shields—you have _dozens_.” Blair frowned. “I’ve never seen another Guide with shields like yours.”

“I don’t know where I learned it, so unfortunately I can’t really explain it.”

“I know. I just thought you should know. There’s nothing _wrong_ with the way your shields work, it just means you’re very closed off. It’s probably why, in spite of the fact that you seem to have found your Sentinel, you’ve been able to hold off on Bonding.” He took a drink from his coffee. “Dr. Lewis mentioned you seemed to have a connection with Sentinel Weller.”

“We—we’ve talked about Bonding. I’m just not ready.”

Blair nodded. “And that’s fine. Not every pair ends up tearing their clothes off and being rushed to a Bonding suite—no matter what the romance novels would have you believe. Every couple is different. It’s good that you’re giving yourself time.”

“Thanks.”

“And on the subject of you possibly Bonding with Sentinel Weller, you are aware that he’s an Alpha in his own right? While he isn’t particularly territorial, his pack is everything to him. If he _were_ territorial, the New York Alpha would probably be concerned about the two of you Bonding.”

“I see.” Jane made a face. “I think.” Her phone buzzed. She fumbled for it, eyeing the caller ID. “It’s Kurt, he’s probably wondering why I’m late.”

“Feel free to blame me.” Blair smiled. “I’m flying back to Cascade in a couple days but if you want to talk, I’ll find the time.” He pulled a card from his wallet and slid it across the table.

“Thank you.” She took the card. “I should go. Thank you for the coffee.”

“You’re welcome.”

Jane smiled shyly and headed out—best she got to the office before Kurt decided to come looking for her.

***

“Sorry I’m late,” Jane said. “Someone at the center wanted to talk to me.” She glanced around the team, eyeing Kurt for his reaction. He looked irritated.

“This someone have a name?” Kurt asked.

“Blair Sandburg.”

She was immediately aware that everyone was looking at her.

“Blair Sandburg.” Kurt raised his eyebrows in some disbelief. “Really?”

“Yeah. Short guy, curly hair. Very excitable.” Jane made a face. “He bought me coffee.”

Reade and Tasha turned toward her, eyes wide.

“You _really_ met Dr. Sandburg?” Patterson asked.

“Yeah.”

Kurt shook his head. “Well, I guess I can’t get mad about that.” He sighed. “Patterson, do we have anything new?”

She nodded. “We do.” She smiled brightly and brought up the relevant tattoo on the monitor and the team got to work.

***

Jane wasn’t sure where it had gone wrong. Reade was down, not dead but down. Tasha was kneeling over him, one hand pressed to his face. The pair was hunkered down behind a wall—safe. Kurt was nearly feral, and it was all she could do to keep him calm. A bullet had grazed her shoulder and it was bleeding sluggishly. Her blood and Reade’s were pressing Kurt closer and closer to feral.

She was running out of bullets and if the aura she was reading off of Tasha was _right_ the formerly latent Guide had just come online. Jane spared a moment’s thought for how odd that was. _First Ana came online with me around and now Tasha. Ana I could understand, but Tasha? She’s been in firefights before._ It didn’t really make sense but she didn’t have time to think about that right now with bullets coming at her and no clear way out.

Something Blair said earlier came back to her. _You don’t project at all, though I don’t doubt that you could._

 _Project._ She remembered something about projecting.

_“You’re a Guide, Shaw! You run out of bullets, use your damn gifts and turn the enemy against itself!” the sergeant shouted at in ear._

_Of course._ Jane swallowed and let some of her shields down, feeling out for their attackers. The mix of confidence, anger and anxiety was clear. Without consciously considering what she was doing, she pushed her fear, Tasha’s fear, away and toward the assailants. Picturing the emotion like darts that stuck into the center of each attacker’s aura and seeded them with doubt before she pushed it to grow and grow.

She heard the first one scream, the clatter of plastic and metal striking concrete telling her they’d dropped their gun. A second attacker reacted and a third and that was enough for Kurt to take back the upper hand. Jane wasn’t really aware of much until their back-up arrived. Her skin felt tight and her head buzzed.

And then Kurt was there with his hands on her face. “Jane?”

She blinked. “I made them feel the fear,” she said lazily. “I feel weird and Tasha is a Guide.”

“Little bird, are you okay?”

“My head feels like it’s full of bees.”

A Bonded pair that had been part of the strike team happened to spot the pair crouched on the floor and the Guide stepped closer, pausing when Kurt growled.

“Did she say her head is buzzing?” the burly Guide—Otterdahl asked. “Did you use an empathic attack?”

Jane frowned at the man. “Made them fear. Didn’t have a choice.”

“Okay.” Otterdahl looked at Kurt. “You need to hold her, it’ll help ground her back and lessen the aftershock.”

Kurt pulled Jane into his arms and stood up. He was stiff and Otterdahl could tell the man was dialed up and on alert. He could see the blood on the ground and on her shirt sleeve and gestured quickly to the surrounding people to back off. They didn’t need the situation escalating. Kurt might know all of them, but they weren’t all pack and while he hadn’t Bonded with Jane, every Sentinel and Guide in the office knew it was only a matter of time.

And now she was hurt.

Otterdahl and is Sentinel fanned out, clearing people away from Kurt and Jane. The Center already had people on the scene checking over Tasha. Reade was in the back of an ambulance, stabilized and about to be transported to the hospital. Otterdahl quickly apprised the Center reps that they had a distressed Sentinel and an injured guide as well. The reaction was swift. They transferred Tasha to the ambulance with Reade and insisted the man go to their hospital wing while the got Kurt and Jane into the Center’s transport.

Kurt was already in distress; it was better not to separate a wounded member of his pack from him. At least it was one less thing for the Center to worry about.

Their arrival at the Center cause something of a stir, Kurt refused to be parted from Jane and while he understood on a rational level that she needed medical attention, he wasn’t particularly rational right then. Jane was moving in and out of consciousness. It was Blair Sandburg himself who ended up coming to see them, accompanied by one of the doctors on staff.

They put the pair in one of the Bonding suites. A bit further away from the public areas but still close to the medical wing.

“Sentinel Weller,” he started. “I’m Blair Sandburg. I understand Jane used an empathic attack tonight.”

Kurt grit his teeth to keep from growling as the doctor cut Jane’s shirt sleeve free to clean and dress her injury.

“She’s going to be okay, she just over-extended herself. That’s what happens when a Guide isn’t Bonded and forgets to ground on a Sentinel. Given her—unique—circumstances, she most likely didn’t even remember she needed to.” Blair spoke slowly, utilizing what most Sentinel’s referred to as his “Guide-voice”, a very particular tone and pacing that Guide’s resorted to instinctively that generally calmed Sentinels down.

“She saved us,” Kurt said. “She protected the pack.”

“She’s a very brave woman,” Blair agreed. “I understand one of your other team members emerged tonight. Tasha Zapata?”

“Yes. A Guide.” Kurt frowned. “I knew she was latent but—this little firefight wasn’t the most stressful situation she’s ever been in.”

“It could have been any number of factors, Sentinel.”

The doctor finished up. “It wasn’t deep,” she said. “No stitches need. It’ll heal fine, Sentinel.”

Kurt nodded sharply and the woman left the room.

Blair watched Kurt closely, noting the Sentinel’s posture and bearing. “Have you partially imprinted on Jane?”

“What?” Kurt blinked. “I mean, yes. Scent and sound. Maybe sight.”

Blair nodded.

“Why?”

“You are pretty calm for a Sentinel whose potential Guide is hurt. A partial imprint explains that.”

“Oh, right.”

“Just stay close to her, okay? She’s grounding on you at the moment, but I think it’s instinctual. I want to show her how to do it properly once she’s feeling better.”

“Of course. She should know how to do it right before trying something like this again.” Kurt nodded. Not that he wanted her to ever need to. The urge to keep her safe was at the forefront and it was all he could do not to growl and demand that the other Guide leave.

“Just buzz if you need anything, no one will come in without permission though.”

Blair got a grunt in affirmation and considered that a win before slipping outside. Jim was waiting for him, concern wrinkling his forehead. “Well?”

“I’d say they’re probably going to Bond tonight. Or tomorrow morning. Her shields are down to almost normal for a Guide and he’s _very_ protective right now. Also, he’s got a partial imprint with three senses.”

Jim nodded. “Well then. How do you think Sentinel Maza is going to react?”

“I think Elisa will be fine, she only brought up the issue because her father wanted her to.” Blair sighed. “She knows Weller has no interest in a territorial dispute.”

“Good. One less thing to worry about then.”

“Yeah. For now, at least.”

“You know? That’s what I love about you, Chief. The optimism.”

“Isn’t it usually the other way around?”

***

Jane woke up to find Kurt sitting next to the bed, one hand on her wrist and an ear trained toward the door. He must have heard the change in her heart beat, because he met her eyes seconds after she’d opened them, smiling.

“You’re awake.”

“How are Reade and Tasha?” Jane asked.

“They’re okay. Reade is down the hall, heart beat steady—he’s sleeping. Tasha is in one of the meditation rooms. She’s gotten her shields under control.”

“How long was I out?” Jane sat up, rubbing her eyes. Her head definitely felt better.

“A few hours.” Kurt ran his thumb over the inside of her wrist. “Dr. Sandburg said you didn’t anchor properly.”

Jane frowned. “Anchor?”

“Yeah, apparently when a Guide uses an empathic attack they usually anchor on their Sentinel, if we were Bonded, you would have done it automatically but…”

“I see.” She looked into Kurt’s eyes. “We would both be better off if we Bonded. I’d be less likely to pass out if I have to do that again and you—you might not have gotten so feral during the fire fight.”

He shrugged. “Everybody got out safe, that’s the important thing.”

Jane swallowed, chewing on the inside of her lip for a moment. The connection she felt toward Kurt wasn’t something she could really articulate. She knew, somehow, that it was something she’d never felt with another Sentinel before. Feeling a bit nervous, she dropped some more of her shields, allowing that sensation of connection to grow. His touch got warmer, soothing away the last of the mental ache. It was like a bell ringing, vibrating through her nerve endings. _Sentinel. Sentinel. Sentinel._

And there was Bandit again, preening his feathers at the end of the bed, looking imminently impatient about the entire affair.

She felt Kurt’s emotional palette shift. There was concern, a touch of fear and the definite feeling of happiness that she was all right but now there was something else too—desire.

“ _Jane,”_ he whispered hoarsely.

She met his gaze again. “Sentinel…I don’t want to wait anymore. Our pack needs us whole. _I_ need us whole.” She took his hand. “Bond with me.”

Kurt had a sudden flash of insight as to the reasoning behind the rooms they’d been placed in. It must have been obvious to every Sentinel and Guide in the center that the pair was one push away from Bonding. Well, obvious to everyone but them. Without a second thought he stood, headed to the door and locked it, flipping the switch that would alert staff to Bonding in progress and keep any intruders at bay before turning back toward the bed, stripping off his shirt and shoes along the way.

He couldn’t help the low growl that emerged as he tugged her toward him, pressing his lips to hers in a fierce kiss. He licked at her lips, surprised at the soft moan that escaped them as she opened her mouth to his exploration.

They were halfway there already, really, with only taste and touch left to imprint, Kurt found himself able to move a bit more slowly than he’d expected, taking in the taste of her lips and tongue.

Jane grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled him closer until he climbed up onto the bed and straddled her hips, one hand twined through the short black locks of her hair while the other gripped her shoulder.

She whined softly when he broke the kiss, but he turned his taste to her neck, and that was nearly as good. The rasp of his beard, the wet strokes of tongue and the nip of teeth. He paused only a moment to help her strip out of her shirt and bra and then continued his path down, lapping at her collar bone. He paid careful attention to ever part of her torso, saving her pebbled nipples for last. Taking in the texture of the ink on her skin, memorizing the patterns as his hands roamed down her stomach.

She couldn’t help a giggle when his fingers ran over that spot on her ribs and she caught the smile on his face before he did it again.

He took the time to go over her arms and hands, sucking each finger between his lips before he moved down to strip off her pants and underwear.

He started at her feet this time, working his way up to her hips before he turned her over to take in the texture and taste of her shoulder blades, running is tongue down her spine. He already knew soft cheeks of her ass, but he went over them anyway, squeezing a bit to add a flush of color. Then, and only then, did he turn back over and take a taste of her arousal.

Jane panted, sweating and shaking. She could feel the connection between them growing by the minute. Like a thread at first that was joined by more and more threads, twisting and twisting until it was a cable. A bright, golden cable that bridged between them, anchoring her shields and bringing her an overwhelming sense of safety.

Her legs shook as he brought her over the edge into physical delight, a feral smile of accomplishment on his face as he crawled back up to her lips and kissed her. She tasted the salt on his lips and smiled.

“Not done yet,” Jane said, reaching down to his jeans and trying to get to the buttons. “Finish it.”

“Getting there, little bird,” he promised, moving her hands away and pinning her wrists over her head. “Stay like this for me.”

She swallowed and then nodded eagerly.

Kurt smiled, shedding off the last of his clothes. He started with his fingers, easing her into the sensation with determination, watching her face as he found the right pressure.

“Kurt,” she begged. “How—how are you so controlled?”

He gripped her thigh and squeezed a bit. “A Sentinel protects their Guide,” he replied. He pulled his fingers free and slicked himself up with lazy strokes before he eased himself inside her, leaning down to steal another kiss.

It was everything he’d ever been told it would be, and so much more. He could _feel_ Jane. Feel her like she was extension of himself. The missing part of him. His sense grounded completely on her like she was the barometer for the entire world. The only measure he’d ever need. With that realization came another—his senses had changed. He’d known Bonding could further heighten his senses on an intellectual level, but it was a far different thing to _feel_ that change. It was a bit like coming online all over again, except with a rock solid anchor to keep him steady.

“My Guide,” he panted. “My beautiful, beautiful Guide.”

_Nothing will ever be the same again._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonding in the Moment  
> Anagram! Because, you know, the episode titles are anagrams. I wanted to do this earlier actually but my chapter titles weren't making good anagrams.
> 
> Next: Carter makes his move and the mysterious Sentinel with the tree tattoo meets his match. (This was supposed to happen in this chapter but...Next time.)


	5. Some Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jane and Kurt meet the Alphas of New York and Carter makes a move.

Kurt left the bed a few hours later and headed into the en-suite kitchen and raided it for water and food he could feed Jane bed. Cubed cheese, crackers, granola balls, cut up fruit—the place was suspiciously well stocked. The reps that picked them up from the site must have called ahead to make sure the room was stocked. He took the tray over, taking in the incredible sight of his Guide stretched over the white silk sheets.

 _My Guide._ He smiled and set the tray down at the edge of the bed and sat down. “Hello, little bird.”

Jane smiled. “What time is it?”

“Early. Or late. Depends on your perspective.” He scooted closer to her and then pulled her into his lap. “Hungry?”

She kissed him. “A bit.”

He picked up a granola ball and held it to her lips. “Do you mind?”

Jane smiled. It was pretty obvious that Kurt was feeling the need to prove he could provide for her. She opened her mouth and let him pop the granola into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed. “I like those.”

He picked up a bit of cheese next. “Try this.”

“Are you going to feed me the whole tray?” She eyed it speculatively.

“Not the _whole_ tray.” He smiled and pressed the cheese to her lips.

She laughed and took the cheese. After she swallowed, “I feel— _whole_. Does that make sense?”

“Yeah,” Kurt nodded. “It does.”

Jane wriggled to get more comfortable. “If I knew it would feel like this…maybe I wouldn’t have held off.” She felt warm and safe. Kurt’s touch made her feel like there was nothing in the world that could hurt her. She let him feed her another bit of granola and hummed softly.

_“When I’m older, I’ll take care of you.”_

Jane blinked, falling into a memory. She was sitting on the floor of a tree house. She could see the branches through the window. Her knee stung from where she’d scraped it and she seemed to be missing a shoe. A boy was kneeling in front of her with a little first aid kit, smiling.  

He cleaned the scrape and put a Band-Aid on it. “You should be more careful, Taylor.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not _that_ bad, Kurt.”

“You always jump head first into things.”

“Following you,” she replied.

Kurt huffed.

“Don’t worry.” Jane grinned. _“When I’m older, I’ll take care of you.”_

Jane took a breath, coming back from the memory. “I—did we have a tree house?”

Kurt’s eyes widened slightly. “Yeah. Our special place. Did you remember something?”

“I scraped my knee and you put a Band-Aid on it. I told you I’d take care of you.” She smiled. “I guess I was right.”

He smiled, leaning close to give her a kiss. “I remember that. You threw a rock at Joey Malone because he was picking on my sister. He chased you and you tripped. Got right back up again and kept running. You were so…fierce.”

She flushed. “I don’t like bullies.”

“No.” He shook his head. “You don’t.”

“How long do you think we’ll get away with staying in here?”

“Well, at least a week. Just you and me.”

“Good.” She wrapped her arms around his neck. “I want some of these sheets. I love these sheets.”

“I can do that.” He kissed her. “Anything you want, little bird.”

_Always._

***

They spent the week in the languorous nesting stage of Bonding, a good seventy-percent of that time naked. It gave Kurt more time to solidify his imprint on his Guide and it gave Jane time to ease into the idea that her life, which had fundamentally changed when she crawled out of that duffel bag, had fundamentally changed all over again. This time though, instead of feeling like a rug had been jerked out from under her feet, she felt like the foundation of her world had been restored. Some vital part of her had been restored.

Little memories kept coming back to her. Memories of her childhood, happy ones. Little moments that deepened her connection to Kurt. And when she woke up in a cold sweat, thrashing her way free of a nightmare, Kurt was there to calm her down. When a stray sound raised Kurt’s hackles or a particularly bright orange sent him toward a zone, she was there to pull him back.

She never wanted it to end. She wanted to stay in that suite with Kurt forever.

“We installed a new security system at your apartment,” Reade said. “And we bought everything on that list you gave us.”

“Thanks,” Kurt said. “You have a car waiting for us?”

“We do,” Tasha nodded. “Although I’m under the impression you have a couple meetings here at the Center before you can head home.”

Jane made a face. “Meetings?”

“The Alpha pair of New York wants to talk to both of you and then you have a meeting with Sandburg and Ellison.” Reade glanced at Kurt and then Jane. “It’s all pretty typical for when an Alpha pair comes online for them to meet with the district’s Alpha pair.”

“Maza has to know I’m not going to challenge her,” Kurt said.

“She does,” Reade said.

“Good.” He nodded curtly. “I suppose we shouldn’t keep Sentinel Maza waiting then.”

They took the elevator up to the third floor and headed for Maza’s office. The dark-haired Sentinel was waiting for them in a small sitting area outside her office proper. She was a former NYPD detective, having retired after taking up the post as Alpha of New York. Though slight, she was built athletically and presented herself with confidence. She was leaning against the couch, arms folded over her chest. Behind the couch was her Guide, an enormously tall man with broad shoulders and skin a shade darker than Maza’s. His long black hair was pulled back into a tail and he was, somehow, less intimidating than his deceptively delicate looking Sentinel. Kurt had only ever heard the man referred to as Goliath. He wasn’t sure if it was a nickname or an actual surname.

He could feel Jane’s nervousness through their Bond and took her hand, squeezing gently.

“Sentinel Maza,” Kurt inclined his head.

“Sentinel Weller.” She nodded back and gave Jane an assessing look. “You must be Guide Shaw. Congratulations on your Bonding. I’m Elisa Maza and this is my Guide, Goliath.”

“It’s a pleasure to you meet you and thank you,” Jane said.

“As you know, there were six other Alpha pairings in the New York territory prior to your Bonding. The other five are going to want to meet you at some point or another to establish—boundaries.” Sentinel Maza sounded a bit annoyed about that. “I know you have little territorial instinct, but it’s possible now that you’ve Bonded you’ll find yourself _wanting_ a territory.”

Kurt shrugged. “If that happens, I’ll let you know.”

“The rest of this conversation needs to be had in a less—open, environment.” She straightened and looked at Jane again. “Follow me.”

Kurt raised an eyebrow but followed without comment. They went into Maza’s office and she locked the door behind them, flipping a switch on the wall to activate the white noise generators in the walls, ceiling and floor.

“So…what are we talking about?” Jane asked.

“You.” Goliath gave her a pointed look.

“Me.” Jane sighed. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.”

Elisa sighed. “Specifically, we need to talk about Orion.”

Jane felt a shudder roll over her skin. “How do you know that word?”

Elisa exchanged a look with her Guide before turning back to Jane. “Orion was a government project that recruited latent Sentinels and Guides for a special program that was supposed to allow them to work independently of one another at full capacity without Bonding.”

Jane felt her stomach twist.

“From what we understand they were supposed to be volunteer, however, it has come to light in the past couple years that the program actually resorted to other means to acquire test subjects,” Goliath rumbled. “They took kids whose genetic testing came back positive and had strong family histories.”

Jane’s throat went dry.

“Are you saying—” Kurt took a breath. “Are you saying that’s what happened to Jane?”

“Yes.” Elisa nodded. “We’ve found a half-dozen people around your age with similar hallmarks. Military service records, unusual talents. Ellison and Sandburg briefed me about this last year after a Sentinel came into the center in a deep zone. He had a Seal tattoo. We eventually identified him and were able to bring him out of his zone. We matched him to a Guide and they Bonded. The Council of Alphas decided it would be in his best interest to leave the country. He lives in Canada now.”

“I’m guessing none of the others showed up in a duffel bag in Times Square covered tattoos though,” Jane deadpanned.

“No.” Goliath shook his head. “We aren’t entirely sure what to make of that.”

Jane exhaled. “What does it mean for me, that I was part of this project?”

“It means you are under the full protection of the Sandburg Center, the Council and Ellison and Sandburg have personally pledged to keep you safe. As Alpha of New York, I am also pledging to keep you safe.”

“ _We_ are pledging to keep you safe,” Goliath corrected.

“Okay.” Jane looked to Kurt.

“Who created the Orion project exactly?” Kurt asked.

“We aren’t sure. The graduates we’ve managed to find have had few memories of childhood to draw on. We believe that the experiment lasted up until the children were in their teens. We know they were also experimenting with ways of forcing emergence, but Dr. Sandburg can speak more on that subject,” Elisa said.

 _I was a kid when I came online._ Jane swallowed. _A dark room full of beds and children. A man in a surgical mask. Needles. Prodding and poking. Cold against her skin. It hurt and it hurt._

“Jane?”

Jane blinked and found herself settled on Kurt’s lap, his arms wrapped around her.

“What happened?” she asked.

“You—you were having a panic attack,” he said softly. “Did you remember something?”

She shook her head. “Just impressions.” Bandit appeared on Kurt’s shoulder and made a sound in distress. “I’m okay.”

“You were crying.”

She could feel Kurt’s concern. “I’m okay.”

He tucked her head under his chin. “I wish I could find the people that took you.”

“I know.” She burrowed closer. “Can we go home now? I just want to go home.”

“Of course, little bird.” He stroked her hair. “Ellison and Sandburg can meet us at my place.” He wrinkled his nose. “It should be fine.”

“Are you sure?” Elisa asked. “You are still in the nesting phase; it might not be possible for you to let outsiders into your home.”

“I can try,” Kurt replied. “Otherwise it’ll have to wait. I’m taking Jane home.”

She made a soft sound in protest as he helped her to her feet. She gave Kurt a look that spoke volumes on her feelings about being manhandled.

He grinned and kissed her cheek. “Come on, we can cuddle when we get home.”

 _We better._ She sighed, slipped her hand into his and led him out of the room.

***

Sarah and Sawyer were waiting for them when they got to the apartment with a cake and a bottle of champagne—with fruit juice for Sawyer. Sarah waited a fraction of a moment for Kurt’s silent assent before she hugged Jane.

“I am so happy for you two,” she gushed. “Really. This is the best thing that could have happened.”

Jane shot Kurt a look.

“Did you bake that cake, Sarah?”

“No I picked up from that bakery you like.” Sarah pulled back to look at her brother.

Jane’s look of relief went unseen by Sarah but Kurt saw it and smirked.

“Your team was in here all day yesterday setting things up in your bedroom and installing this security system. There’s a whole binder that goes with it.”

“I’m not surprised.” Kurt sighed. “Jane, do you want cake?”

“I’d love some cake.”  

She gave Kurt a completely different kind of look. If he was interpreting it correctly it was something along the lines of: _After cake, I want to look at the bedroom._

Except about ten shades more explicit than that.

Jane smiled at the answering sensation of arousal she felt coming off of Kurt before wading into the family fray.

***

“These are the same sheets,” Jane said, delightedly wriggling against them. “Wonderful. Wonderful. Sheets.”

“They are.” Kurt watched his Guide, unable to keep a smile from his face. She looked like a cat rolling in cat nip, absolutely content. He stripped off the last of his clothes and slipped into bed to join her. “I’m glad you’re happy, kitten.”

“First little bird, now kitten?” She rolled onto her stomach and batted her eyelashes at him. “I’m collecting pet names.”

“You bring it out in me.” He ran his fingers through her hair. “You bring out a lot in me.” He swallowed, hard. “You know—I think I’ve loved you since we were kids.”

Her eyes widened. “Kurt…”

“I love you.” He put his hand on her face as she pushed herself off the bed, leaned down and kissed her. “I love you.”

When he pulled back, he could see the sheen of tears in her eyes, the slight tremble of her lower lip. “I love you too.” She tossed her head and bit her lip. “I’m going to need you to help me test the sheets.”

“Oh yeah?” He grinned. “What did you have in mind exactly?”

She moved closer to him, placing a hand on his chest and trailing her fingers down and down. “Oh, I think you’ll figure out. I mean, you are in the FBI after all.”

“You have a point there,” he agreed. “Still, I might need a little guidance.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“I have faith in you.”

***

Their first day back to work was met with a smattering of applause and near-constant congratulations. David and Patterson were bouncing with excitement.

“We are _so_ happy for you two,” Patterson said. “I mean, really _happy_.”

“How much did you win in the office pool?” Kurt asked.

“Nine-hundred dollars,” David said with a big smile. “But don’t worry we didn’t keep it.”

“No, we spent it on those sheets.” Patterson gave them a knowing look. “That company makes good sheets.”

Jane smiled. “Yes, they do.”

“Any movement on the tattoos while we’ve been gone?” Kurt asked.

“We uncovered a Russian spy ring and prevented the assassination of three high profile targets,” Patterson replied. “Right now we’ve got chatter on a website that was directly linked to some letters we found scattered throughout your other tattoos. It looks like there’s some sort of sale going on. We aren’t a hundred-percent certain what they’re selling, but we’ll figure it out.”

Reade jogged up them, eyeing the pair before turning to Kurt. “Allison Knight is here.”

“Allison Knight?” Kurt made a face. “Great.”

Jane picked up unease, irritation and a touch of dread from him and immediately put her hand on his shoulder.

He reached up, taking her hand and kissing it. “Don’t worry. Allison is—Allison _was_ my Guide for a bit. There was potential there but it never went further than that.”

Jane made a face, feeling a sudden surge of possessiveness as they walked out to meet the woman. The other Guide was a few inches shorter than Jane, brown hair pulled back into a tail and a slightly worried expression on her face.

“Kurt.” She stepped forward, the moment she registered the Bond written clear on her face before she smothered it, disappointment flaring for a brief second before she resumed a professional distance. “You Bonded.”

“I—yes. This is my Guide, Jane.” Kurt put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “Jane, this is Allison Knight. She used to be with the FBI.” He took in the badge on her jacket. “Marshals, eh?”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m here, actually.” She made a face. “The Marshal’s had a data breach.”

And that set off a _very_ strange forty-eight hours.

***

“That man propositioned us eight times,” Jane commented. “ _Eight_.”

“I noticed,” Kurt remarked.

“I’m surprised you didn’t bite him.”

“I wanted to.”

She smiled and shifted closer to him.

“Did I tell you that dress looks wonderful on you?”

“You did not.” She gave him a sidelong glance.

“Forgive me.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek. “How much make up did they use to cover those tattoos?”

“Buckets.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m looking forward to a shower.”

“I could take a shower with you,” he offered, hand roaming down her back.

“The locker room doesn’t have private showers.” She kissed him. “Behave.”

After clean up and paperwork they headed home. Kurt had a hand on her lower back as they walked into the apartment complex. He paused at the door, nostrils flaring.

“What is it?” She caught a flare of anxiety from him.

“I smell _that_ Sentinel.”

She didn’t really need clarification of who he was talking about and turned her head in the direction he was looking. She couldn’t stop him from stalking forward, and stayed a step behind him as he began hunting down the scent.

He was so focused on that, he missed the whistle of the flash/boom grenade as it flew through the air toward them. It disoriented Jane, who threw herself toward Kurt in a desperate attempt to put skin against skin and ground her Sentinel against a zone. The men were on them in a flash, and the prick of needles into the flesh stopped any further attempts to reach him.

***

Jane came to lying on her back. She tried to sit up, but a rope across her chest prevented her. She tired her arms next and found her wrists bound as well as her legs and ankles. The ceiling was concrete, cracked and lined by rusted pipes. There was a bright light shining in her face. She felt—nothing.

 _Empathic inhibitors._ The itch in the front of her brain and the slightly numbness of her tongue brought the words to mind.

“By now you’ve noticed we’ve dosed you to prevent you from using those pesky gifts of yours.”

She recognized the voice immediately and turned her head toward the sound. “Carter.”

The CIA director gave her a smile that made her stomach twist. “I need you to answer some questions.” He knelt down next to her, pulling a jug of water into her line of sight. “The speed in which you answer my questions will make this easier for you.”

She stared at him. “Where is Kurt?”

“He’s sleeping.” Carter made a face. “He almost killed one of my men. Now. Why don’t you tell me where you got that ink?”

“I don’t know.”

He sighed. “All right, we’ll do this the hard way.” He grabbed a towel off the floor, tossing it over her face. Her only conscious thought as the water poured down was _it burns._

_Pop. Pop._

Two. Loud. Echoing. Pops. They broke through the sound of the water splashing down and the water stopped. There was a thud and splash as plastic struck concrete followed by a duller, louder thud and a clatter. The towel was pulled off her face—it was the Sentinel from before. The one with the tree tattoo. Carter was on the floor, two bleeding wounds in his chest.

“What the hell?”

“This is a rescue.”

“Where is Kurt?” She strained against the bindings. “Where is he?”

“You Bonded with him.” Even with her empathy offline she could still tell he was disappointed.

“Where. Is. He.”

“He’s fine. I took out Carter’s guards. He’ll take a bit to wake up though.” He cocked his head to one side. “If I cut you loose, you have to promise to listen to me.”

Jane wrinkled her nose. “Fine.”

He looked skeptical but pulled out a knife, cutting the bindings. She surged up the moment the last thread was cut and pounced on him.

“Who are you?” she demanded. “Who are you?”

“I was supposed to be yours,” he snarled. “We were supposed to be _together._ You and me.”

“For Project Orion?” she asked.

His brow furrowed. “Where did you hear about that?”

“I remembered.” She glared at him. “Is that where we knew each other from?”

“Yes and no.” He struggled free of her grip, throwing his hips forward to roll her over and pin her to the floor. “They made us. They made us and we were supposed to be together.”

“I thought they wanted Sentinels and Guides to work independently without anchors.”

“That was only part of the project.” He shook his head. “The rest of it was focused on making incompatible Guides and Sentinels able to Bond.” He breathed in her scent. “But then you…” he shook his head. “You aren’t ready.”

“Fuck ready. Tell me the truth!” She got a knee into his stomach and shoved him off, following it up with a punch to the jaw.

He growled. “You were supposed to be mine!”

“I made my choice!”

_“I’ve made my choice!”_

_“I’m your choice!”_

_“No, Oscar. They tried to make you my choice. But you aren’t.”_

Jane shook her head free of the echoes of memory. “Oscar.”

His eyes widened. “You weren’t supposed to remember. You weren’t supposed to remember _anything._ ”

She got to her feet. “Yeah well, I don’t care.” There was surge through her Bond. Anger. Fear. “Kurt!”

Her Sentinel staggered into the room a few minutes later. “Jane!”

The man, Oscar, snarled at Kurt.

 _Bad move._ Jane thought. Kurt moved between her and Oscar, throwing a punch at the other man. Oscar, apparently finally understanding the situation he was in, fought for only a few minutes before he took off. Jane debated for a fraction of a second before she ran after him.

Just in time to see Oscar climb into a waiting car that took off seconds before Kurt could get to him. Her Sentinel swore before turning his attention back to her. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” She nodded. “I’m all right.”

He pulled her into his arms. She managed to keep her brave front up for a few more seconds before she started to cry.

“It’s all right, little bird.” He stroked her hair. “I’ve got you.”

“I want to go home now.”

“I know, I know, but we’ve got to call the office.”

Jane whined.

“I know.” He rubbed her back. “Come on, let’s find a phone.”

Jane sighed. “Okay.” This was _not_ how she wanted to end her evening.

***

They didn’t get home until late. Jane collapsed into bed after a shower, curling up into Kurt’s arms with a contented sigh. “We don’t have to go into work tomorrow, right?” she whispered.

“Nope,” he replied, kissing the top of her head. “Mayfair gave us two days. And you have to have an evaluation with Dr. Borden.”

“Ugh.” She pushed her face into his chest. “Don’t wanna.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “I think my kitten is sleepy.”

Her soft huff was answer enough.

“Sleep, you can argue about it when you wake up.”

She didn’t argue with him and fell asleep to the beating of his heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, Kurt puts resources into tracking down Oscar.


	6. A Small Intermission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack decides to do some bonding. 
> 
> There's a spanking in this one.

Jane stalked out of Dr. Borden’s office feeling ready to punch something. She had something in mind—well, _someone._ She got a read on Kurt pretty quickly, heading into Patterson’s lab.

“Hey, Jane,” Patterson waved. “How are you?”

“I’ve been better.” She felt for Kurt again. “Extra sessions with Borden aren’t exactly a treat.”

“Understandable.” Patterson flashed her a smile. “Not really a fan of therapy myself.”

Kurt walked into the room a few seconds later, heading straight for Jane. “All done with Dr. Borden?”

“For now at least.” Jane wrinkled her nose.

He kissed her cheek. “Any word on the mystery man?”

Patterson shook her head. “We’re still looking through databases but I have a feeling we aren’t going to find much. I sent a request into the Sandburg Center for any information they might have. Not that really helped with Jane but you never know. I had to give it a shot anyway.”

“And we’re still looking into a few new leads with the tattoos,” David added as he walked up to Patterson. “I think we’re pretty close to figuring out this one with the bull.” David glanced at Jane, brow furrowing. 

“Well at least there’s that,” Kurt replied. “Just keep trying.”

“Will do.”

“And next time you see Reade tell him I want to see him. I know he’s been avoiding me and I know why.”

Jane raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”

“It’s a surprise,” Kurt replied, kissing her cheek again.

“Okay.” Jane gave him a look. “How do you feel about sparring?” She widened her eyes. “I need to punch something.”

David’s eyes narrowed at his fellow Guide. He could feel something off there, but her shields were too strong for him to get much off of her but beyond a flare of anger there was something else there too.

“Feeling a bit feisty after your appointment with Borden?” Kurt teased.

“Something like that.”

“All right.” He nodded. “Let’s head down to the gym.”

“Sure.”

Kurt had a sense his Guide was a bit—off. He knew she wasn’t a big fan of therapy but it was pretty obvious there was something more to it.

“Something happen in therapy?” he asked as they headed into the gym after changing into sweats.

Jane shrugged, but he caught the flash of a distinct expression on her face before she smothered it. _Anger._ “I just need to work out some tension.” It wasn’t a total lie. It wasn’t completely the truth either though.

He got into position after taping up his hands and beckoned Jane toward him. “Come on then, let’s work out some tension.”

He’d seen her fight before and up close and personal it was just as impressive. But as it went on, he could feel the anger thrumming through their Bond. It wasn’t _just_ anger though, there was something else there too and he wasn’t familiar enough with being able to feel her emotions through that Bond to fully identify those emotions. He couldn’t even imagine what it must be like to access everyone’s emotions. His and hers were more than enough for him.

As the match wore on, he couldn’t help but notice she was getting reckless.

Kurt pushed her back after she overextended on a punch. “What’s going on Jane, really?”

She shook her head. “Nothing,” she spat.

He raised his eyebrows. This time she was _definitely_ lying. “Jane.”

She shook her head again, pushing her hair away from her face. “I—I dreamed about Oscar last night. Borden poked and prodded like he always does.” Jane sighed. “I’ve dreamed about him before. We were…we had a _relationship._ I keep dreaming about it. About _being_ with him and after what happened after the encounters I’ve had with him I just…” She swallowed. “I feel like I want to tear my skin off. I feel like I’ve done something unforgiveable. I might know who I am now, but I don’t know who I _was_. And that’s scares the hell out of me.”

Her shoulders slumped. “We have to find him. We have to find him so he can answer my questions. I have to _know_ , Kurt.”

It took Kurt a minute to sort out everything she’d said. Sort out the emotions she was feeling. It dawned on him that at the center of that anger and doubt was shame. She was ashamed of a relationship she barely remembered. Ashamed of the possibility that she had betrayed Kurt. Ashamed of the dreams she couldn’t stop. And Oscar wasn’t there for her to beat on, so she’d settled for Kurt and that wasn’t fair to him.

Kurt closed the distance between them, tugging her into his arms and pulling her head to his shoulder. “You haven’t done anything wrong. I don’t know who you were before and—and I don’t care. Everything I’ve seen has shown me that you’re a good person. We’ll find him. We’ll get your answers.”

She made a soft sound at the back of her throat, pressing her face into his neck.

“Tell me what you need from me,” Kurt whispered, rubbing her back. “Let me help, little bird.” He could feel her shake her head, hear the uptick in her heartbeat. He could still feel anger and shame mixed up in their Bond. “You need a spanking?” He kept his tone as neutral as possible.

She shook her head again, but secretly she thought he might be right.

“I think you do,” he disagreed. “Come on, there’s a room we can use.” He pulled back, getting a grip on her chin to look her in the eyes. “Are you going to be a good girl for me?”

Jane chewed her lip, fighting the urge to shake her head. She finally managed to nod. 

Kurt smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips. “All right, let’s make it better, okay?” He took her by the hand and led her off into a small side room that was equipped with white noise generators in the walls as well as a few low benches, cushions and chairs for use in meditation and centering for the various Sentinels and Guides on staff. He locked the door behind them, leading Jane over to one of the benches. He took a seat and helped her over his lap.

“It’s okay, little bird. It’s okay. I’m going to help you now.” He rubbed the small of her back. “I know you’re all tangled up.”

Jane was too steeped in her emotional turmoil to move. All she was really certain of in that moment was that Kurt loved her. She could feel that through their Bond with absolute certainty and feeling could have held her down as effectively as his hands. _He doesn’t feel angry or upset._ She could feel concern, certainly, but the overwhelming emotion was love.

She started crying before he even started spanking. It was relief more than anything else, relief that he didn’t hate her. Relief that he was doing something to make her feel better. He pulled her sweats down to her knees and laid out the first smack, keeping a weather eye on her response.

He kept his swats on the lighter side, though he was relatively certain Jane was in no condition to notice that bit of mercy. She started kicking a bit, which was just as endearing as it always was. He didn’t bother trying to tamp down his surge of warmth. He wanted her to feel it through their Bond just as much as she felt the heat growing on her backside.

“It’s not your fault, little bird. Who you were before isn’t who you are now.” He kept his pace even, watching the flush of color rising. “You didn’t betray me. Oscar isn’t your Sentinel and whatever you had before doesn’t matter now. I might get a flash of jealousy now and again but that’s not on you. You haven’t done anything wrong.”

Her shoulders shook as she began crying harder. “You—you don’t know.”

“Yes I do.” He gave her a half-dozen properly hard swats in response to her self-deprecation. “No more talking about yourself like that. You are my good girl.” He punctuated that with a harder swat. “My Guide.” She kicked harder in response to another hard swat. “My little bird.” And another _hard_ swat. “I trust you. I love you. I will _always_ forgive you.”

He let her sob over his knee for a bit longer, rubbing her bottom, flooding their bond with affection and love, chasing away the last bits of negative emotions before he scooped her up into his arms and pillowing her head against his shoulder. Kurt combed his fingers through her hair, rocking a bit to help calm her down. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” she managed after a beat. “Thank you.” She hummed softly, basking in the Bond. “Don’t we have to do something?”

“Nope. You take all the time you need.” He smiled. “We’re having dinner with the family tonight.”

“Hm?”

“Reade will be there—well, the whole pack but I mostly wanted Reade.”

Jane pulled back a bit to look him in the eye. “You finally decide to tell them you don’t have an issue with their dating?” Jane had picked up on the emotional signals Reade had for Sarah pretty fast. He wasn’t very good at masking and whenever her name was mentioned Reade’s empathic print would flare.

“I suppose so.” Kurt smirked. “I think Reade thinks I don’t know.”

Jane smiled back. “I think he _hopes_. Pack dinner seems past due I guess.”

“A bit. I wanted to give you time.”

“Thank you but…the stronger my connections are to them, the more secure I feel. You know?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. Whatever he was about to say was interrupted by his phone buzzing in his pocket. He frowned, but answered it quickly. “Weller—uh huh—okay—we’ll be there as soon as we can.” He hung up and glanced back at Jane. “Patterson. She’s solved the bull tattoo. Well, actually it was David but you know how they get.”

“Competitive.” Jane arched her eyebrows. “Five minutes?”

“Sure.”

She sank back into his arms and hummed. “We have to find Oscar, Kurt. We have to get those answers.”

“We will,” he promised. “We will.”

***

Reade arrived to the dinner first which gave Kurt and Jane ample opportunity to watch him pretend he wasn’t dating Sarah. Jane picked up on Kurt’s smug satisfaction and pinched him, he gave her a swat in retaliation. Once the rest of the team arrived, Kurt let Reade squirm for another ten minutes before taking him aside.

By mutual decision, they ordered from a Sentinel friendly restaurant rather than have Sarah cook. While Kurt spoke to Reade, Patterson played a game with Sawyer and Jane sat down with Tasha.

“How are you feeling?” Jane asked. “It must be—different.”

Tasha sighed. “I knew I was latent but the Center always said it was unlikely I would come online.” She shook her head. “It’s weird being able to know how other people are feeling a room away—three floors away. It’s insane to think that I can make another person feel something that I’m feeling.”

“Yeah. I know how you feel.” Jane nodded. “Did they grade you?”

Tasha nodded. “I split on reception and projection. High on one, low on the other. My shields are stable though so I can block most of it out. I still have training sessions at the Center though and like a dozen meet and greets with the un-Bonded Sentinels in New York. _Really_ looking forward to those.”

“I can tell,” Jane said. “Do you _want_ a Bond?”

Tasha shrugged. “I’ll let you know. I mean, I do feel the urge. They said I would. Like an itch I can’t scratch.”

David took a seat at the table, drawn in by the topic of conversation. “I have to say though, it’s nice having another Guide on the team. Easier to explain some of the quirks to someone who already knows, you know?”

“You mean like the migraines you get when your Sentinel is feeling moody?” Jane remarked.

“Or empathic stress on holidays,” David tacked on.

“God, do I even _want_ to know what it’ll be like to be on my period?” Tasha asked.

“No.” Jane shook her head.

“Did I hear someone say I give her migraines?” Kurt asked, heading for the table, Reade at his heels.

Jane shrugged.

He gave her a look that promised they’d talk later. “If you lot are done gossiping, dinner is here.”

Jane wrinkled her nose. “I wouldn’t say we’re gossiping.”

“I know _you_ wouldn’t say that but you seem to forget I could hear the whole thing.”

“Which is eavesdropping and _rude_ ,” Jane scolded gently. “Let’s eat.”

“So did _everyone_ know about me and Sarah?” Reade asked.

The Guides exchanged glances with each other before looking back at Reade and nodding.

The man groaned softly.

“It’s not so bad,” Patterson said, walking over with some of the take out bags. “It was cute how you thought you could hide a relationship from a room full of investigators.”

“And two Sentinels,” David added. “Well, and a Guide, you’ve been all over with warm and fuzzies in your empathic print.”

Reade sighed. “I had to try.”

Sarah padded over and kissed him. “Well I for one am glad this is out in the open. It was getting a bit ridiculous trying to hide it.” She glanced at her brother. “You be nice.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Kurt waved at her.

Gentle ribbing aside, the whole pack settled down at the table and started passing around takeout containers. Kurt felt a surge of warmth at the comradery. He tugged Jane a bit closer to him and brushed a kiss on her cheek.

“We should have a pack-bonding trip,” Jane said after swallowing a bite. “You know?”

“Something where people aren’t shooting at us,” Tasha said. “And not in the woods.”

“Beach?” Sarah put in.

“I hate sand,” Patterson said.

“Fair enough.”

“Okay so not the beach and not the woods,” Jane wrinkled her nose. “You guys are limiting our options.”

“Seaside, not the beach?” David suggested.

 “We’ll figure something out,” Kurt said. “But I do agree, we need a trip.” He glanced at Tasha. “Especially now that we have a new Guide in the mix.”

Tasha shrugged. “If you say so boss.”

“Damn right.”

***

The resolution of the bull tattoo was rapid once they had an ID on the antique shop owner. It was the first case they’d managed to solve without gunfire and Jane had to admit that felt good.

She certainly slept soundly that night, though she did fall into an unusual dream. She was standing in a small white room with no windows. No door. Just a floor length mirror on one wall. She was naked and the tattoos seemed to be alive. It didn’t hurt. The bull and the bear walked away from their places, tracking through the fiery rose on her stomach.

Letters swam and images shifted, vibrated and then flew free of her skin to plaster themselves onto the walls. They spread out, magnified. She glanced down at her hands and found her fingertips smudged with ink. She glanced back up and caught sight of herself in the mirror again. The only tattoo left was the Navy Seal tattoo on her shoulder. Small scars drew silver lines across pale skin here and there.

And then she was in a uniform, hair pulled back in a bun.

And then she was in a pair of sweats and the Seal tattoo was gone.

And then she was a teenager with a split lip and dressed in what looked like scrubs.

And finally, she was a child again, Bandit on her shoulder.

The tattoos on the walls shifted, revealing a blank spot on the wall. Ink bled away from the tattoos and started sketching out new images on the walls. She had the strangest feeling that those flickering images were memories she couldn’t quite pin down.

Just as she thought she was getting a handle on what she was seeing—she woke up.

***

“You’re in an odd mood today,” Kurt remarked, watching Jane get dressed.

“I had an odd dream,” she replied. “Are you staring at my ass?”

“Maybe.” He grinned.

Jane rolled her eyes and turned back toward him. “Do you—do you think the tattoos make me look…I mean…” She bit her lip.

Kurt frowned, reached out and snagged her waistband to tug her close enough to pull into his lap. “You’re beautiful, little bird.” He traced one of the patterns on her wrist with a finger before pulling her wrist up to his lips and kissing it. “I love every inch of you—though that little owl is a bit creepy.”

She flushed.

“I got the house booked for the getaway,” he said. “Five days, the pack and no work.” He rubbed her back. He kissed her. “Come on, let’s go to work.”

Jane hummed softly. “All right.” She hopped off his lap and flashed a smile. “Come on, let’s go catch some bad guys.”  

***

They booked a house on a lake in upstate New York. It wasn’t smack dab in the middle of a forest, which made Tasha feel better and the lakeshore was more gravel than sand, which made Patterson feel better. It was definitely scenic, though the sprawling house had more than enough room for everyone it was also cozy. Kurt had a fire lit in the central fireplace minutes after they arrived.

There was the general chaos as everyone settled into their rooms, food was packed away and there was a brief argument over bedrooms before everyone got together in the living room for an overview of the schedule Patterson had drawn up.

“How many board games did you bring?” Reade asked, eying the stack on the coffee table.

“Only a dozen,” Patterson replied brightly. “I grabbed the ones that particularly good for cognitive development, I thought Sawyer might like them.”

“Great.”

Patterson pulled a binder out of her bag and flipped to the first page. “Now, who wants to take a look at the schedule with me?”

“Is that—color coded?” Kurt asked, glancing at the binder.

“Yes.”

Kurt sighed. Jane, sensing his slight exasperation, sidled over to him and wrapped her arms around him. “It looks very—thorough.”

“I wanted to make sure we maximized our vacation.”

David sat down next to Patterson. “She spent like, twelve hours on that thing.”  

“It was nine at the most,” she argued.

“Sweetie, I know you feel like that’s reasonable but…it’s not.”

Patterson glared at her Guide. “It’s like you don’t even want to have fun.”

“Of course I want to have fun.” David smiled and gave her a kiss. “Just—a bit less regimented fun.”

“But this is _maximized_ fun.”

“Maximized fun aside,” Kurt interrupted, “why don’t we start on lunch?”

At least there were no arguments about that.

***

The next morning the girls took advantage of a nearby trail to go for a run and talk about the boys. It was a bit misty, but it wasn’t properly raining just yet. At the trail’s end, Tasha and Jane—at the head of the group—paused for a drink and to let the other two catch up.

“So,” Tasha panted. “How is it really? Being Bonded? Well, I know it can’t all be sunshine and roses and I know you and Weller have a deep connection to one another but he’s kind of—grumpy.”

Jane grinned. “He’s not always grumpy. As far as how it is…” she took a breath. “It’s like having an anchor. It’s like being surrounded by love. I know that sounds kind of like a fortune cookie but it’s just the way it feels.”

Tasha nodded. “I guess I could see why someone would want that.” She sighed. “I never really had the best luck with long lasting relationships. I just can’t even imagine what it’s like to be so intimately tied to another person.”

“It takes some getting used to, that’s true.”

Patterson and Sarah caught up with them a few moments later.

“You guys ready to head back to the house?” Sarah asked.

“Yeah,” Tasha nodded. “I’ve had enough fresh air for today and I want bacon.”

“Yes.” Patterson nodded enthusiastically. “Bacon and toast.”

“Pancakes,” Jane suggested.

“Pancakes,” Sarah agreed.

“You think we can convince the boys to cook?” Tasha asked. “Reade’s not bad.”

“Tasha’s right about that, Edgar _can_ actually cook.” Sarah nodded.

“Then we’re in agreement, we con the boys into cooking.” Tasha grinned.

They all shared a quick smile and then jogged back toward the house.

***

Later on that morning, David and Patterson were curled up on the couch together reading a book while Jane beat Kurt at Risk. Bandit was perched on the back of Jane’s chair, preening her hair and making a general nuisance of himself when an incredibly large, fluffy, striped cat with tufted ears and long tail hopped up onto the couch and wriggled under Patterson’s arm.

Jane blinked. “Uh—whose cat is that?”

Patterson looked up, eyes widening slightly in surprise. “This is Lute, my knack. People don’t usually see her.”

“What kind of cat is she?”

“Norwegian Forest cat, one of the largest domestic breeds. Some of the folks at the center thought it was…odd. A Sentinel having a domestic cat for a knack but Lute’s pretty fierce when she wants to be.”

David made a face. “Yeah, that’s true.”

Another flutter of wings caught Jane’s attention next as a large crow hopped up onto the couch next to Lute and snuggled up next to the cat with a loud croak.

“And there’s Poe,” David raised his eyebrows. “He’s not usually so noisy.”

When Tasha padded into the living room with a tray full of coffee mugs, her eyes went wide at the sight of so many knacks out in the open. Even Kurt’s bear Beatrice had made an appearance, hunkered down behind the couch sleeping.  As she stopped, there was a sound—clicking against wood as something walked up behind her. Something that stopped and bumped into the back of Tasha’s legs.

“Uh, Tasha, you seen your knack yet?” Kurt asked.

“No.”

“I think she’s behind you.” He nodded toward her legs.

Tasha raised her eyebrows and set the tray down on the coffee table before peeking over her shoulder and spying the tawny coyote now at her heels. “Oh. Hello there.”

“She’s beautiful,” Jane said.

The coyote bumped the back of Tasha’s legs again. Tasha turned around and knelt down next the knack, placing a tentative hand on the coyote’s head. “Hello…Lupita.”

The coyote yipped.

“It looks like a zoo in here,” Reade remarked as he walked in. “I just got a call from the office.”

All eyes turned toward Reade.

“You can see them?” Jane asked. “That’s—isn’t that unusual?”

“Sometimes latent Sentinels and Guides can see knacks,” Patterson said. “It used to be a testing method prior to genetic testing.”

Which was of course, exactly when Sawyer came running into the room. “Mommy says Uncle Kurt needs to help her with lunch.” The little boy paused. “Aunt Tasha, when did you get a dog?”

The group exchanged looks and Kurt sighed. “Recently,” he replied. “Come on, buddy.” He stood up. “And I’m not conceding victory just yet, Jane.” He glanced at his Guide, leaning over to kiss her before he walked over to his nephew and scooped him up. “Oh, Reade, you said the office called? Don’t they know we’re on vacation?”

“They do.” Reade nodded in acknowledgement. “You weren’t picking up your phone so they called me. Apparently Mayfair is bringing in a couple newbies for the team.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. “Who?”

“You’ve already met. Ana Montes and her Guide, Josie Parker. They’ll be joining Patterson in analysis.”

Kurt made a face. “How do you feel about it, Patterson?”

“She is good. Cocky. But good.” The other Sentinel shrugged. “I think she’ll be a good addition.”

“Okay. Something to worry about on Monday.” He glanced back at his nephew. “Okay, Sawyer, let’s go make sure your mom isn’t burning anything.”

Jane turned to Reade. “I didn’t know you were latent.”

Reade shrugged. “My great-uncle was a Sentinel but there hasn’t been an emergence in the family since.”

“Ah.” She sunk back into her chair.

“You know…” David started. “While we’re waiting on lunch, maybe it might be a good idea for some grounding exercises.” He looked at his fellow Guides. “Generally speaking when knacks all come out to play like this there’s a reason.”

Tasha and Jane sighed.

“Come on, it won’t be so bad.” David grinned. “Just because we’re taking a vacation doesn’t mean we can let that stuff slide.”

Tasha stood up. “Like my weekly training sessions at the Center aren’t enough?”

“Nope.”

Groaning, the girls got up and followed David out of the room to the meditation room on the second floor. A lot of vacation homes came equipped with them these days. While the Guides were centering themselves, Reade headed into the kitchen to make sure that lunch wouldn’t be a complete disaster.

Left to her own devices, Patterson decided to take a quick walk while everyone else was busy. She slung on her coat, Lute trotting at her heels, and walked out. She wasn’t going to go far. Her Bond with David was strong, and her Sentinel side was at ease enough with the security of the house and her pack that she felt all right not being by his side. She headed down the gravel driveway toward the pond. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d been out of the lab on a weekday, let alone out of the city.

It was nice.

As she reached the midway point of the drive, a car pulled up and headed toward her. She frowned, stepping off the drive and reaching into her pocket for her phone. The car stopped as it reached her and the dark window rolled down, a man with salt and pepper hair, closely cut and classic features peered out at her.

Patterson felt the twinge of recognition of a fellow Sentinel almost instantly, but it wasn’t followed by the territorial response she was used to. “Can I help you?” she asked.

“Sorry, I’m a little lost.” His tone was mild, almost reassuring. “I saw you walking up.”

“Your phone doesn’t have GPS?”

“Battery died,” he smiled self-deprecatingly. “And of course the wife has the car charger.”

Patterson couldn’t detect any physiological evidence of him lying, but she had the strangest feeling he wasn’t being truthful regardless. “Where are you trying to get to?”

He picked up a slip of paper and read off the address.

Patterson typed it in to her phone and pulled up a map. “Well, it looks like you need to head out of the drive, turn left and go five miles to the next intersection and then turn left. It’s another three miles and then it should be on your right.”

The man smiled again. “Thanks so much, I appreciate it.”

“No problem.” Patterson watched him turn around and head back onto the road, but she couldn’t help feeling like the whole encounter was more than it seemed. A strange Sentinel driving around on his own? She went back over his appearance, the black car, the license plate. He’d been handsome, older. Wearing a sharp suit that would let him blend in just about anywhere in the city. She debated for a moment before texting the license plate to one of her techs to be run. Better safe than sorry.

Lute chirped, drawing her attention.

“What?”

Luke chirped again and started trotting back toward the house.

Patterson sighed. No doubt her knack wanted her to fill everyone else in on the strange Sentinel.

_This was supposed to be a vacation._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get into some plotty stuff next chapter, but here's some fluff. I needed to write some fluff. 
> 
> A shout out to my dedicated readers. Thanks for the comments. :)


	7. The Other Side

Kurt had his frown on in full force. “What did he smell like?”

“Like the city. Motor oil, metal. You know.” Patterson shrugged. “The plate came back registered to a rental agency and the car was rented using a business credit card. Nothing unusual there.”

Kurt sighed. “Well, there’s not much to do now. But I want everyone to keep their eyes open, okay?”

The gathering verbalized their affirmatives.

“Great.” Kurt nodded. “What’s next on the schedule, Patterson?”

“Really?” She was definitely questioning this sudden change of heart over her carefully designed program of fun.

“Really.”

“Then it’s time for charades.” She smiled brightly.

Kurt sighed again.

***

Jane was really starting to like this whole “vacation” thing. She snuggled closer to Kurt, luxuriating in the after-glow of incredibly fulfilling sex. “I love you,” she murmured. “I love it when you run your teeth over my skin. I love it when you pull my hair. I love it when you put your fingers—”

He cut her off with a kiss and growled softly before pulling back. “Naughty kitten…” He kissed her again. “I ought to spank you.”

She gave him a rather smoldering look. “I’d rather you…” She licked her lips and leaned up, whispering into his ear.

Kurt actually flushed a bit. “I do love you,” he finally managed. “My. Naughty. Little. Kitten.” He punctuated each word with a kiss and pulled her closer, fully invested in round two.

***

Jane was out for another run the day before they were set to leave. She’d managed to ditch Patterson and Tasha a couple miles back. She was rounding a bend in the trail when she felt a strange empathic imprint. She spotted the man a couple seconds later. He was tall, with the posture of a soldier. Handsome, older—salt and pepper hair. Definitely the man Patterson had seen earlier in the week.

He smiled at her, eyes crinkling. “Hello, Taylor.”

She felt her heart beat tick up and she took a breath. “Hello, John.” Jane blinked. “Wait. Is your name John?”

“It is.” He nodded. “I guess that means your memories are coming back?”

“A bit.” She raised her eyebrows. “Why are you here? How do we know each other?”

“You and I worked together before you ended up with the people that covered you in tattoos.” He blinked. “Do you prefer Taylor or Jane?”

“Jane.” She swallowed. “It’s more comfortable.”

“I understand that.” He pulled a card free from his pocket. “I knew it would be difficult to get close to you in the city, hence the waiting until you weren’t in the city. If you ever want to find out some of the secrets behind those tattoos, give this number a call and my employer would be happy to help fill you in.”

Jane took the card, brow furrowing. “And who do you work for exactly?”

“He’s a very private person.” John smiled again. “I’m just here to provide you with information and an option.”

Something about him was definitely familiar. He didn’t feel dangerous. He didn’t make her feel uncomfortable. He was just— _safe._ Like an old friend.

“What kind of work did we do?”

He tilted his head to one side, and made a face. “I think you know that you weren’t just a soldier, Jane. Neither was I. We just worked for different agencies with three letter acronyms.” He smiled.

“Were we part of the same program?”

“No.” He shook his head. “I was just a regular guy who wanted to serve his country.”

“You’re a Sentinel.”

“True—and your friends are coming. I should go. Call me. We’ll talk.”

She watched him leave, glancing down at the card in her hand. _Kurt’s not going to like this._

Patterson noticed the smell of the strange Sentinel from before the moment she caught up with Jane and frowned. “Jane?”

Jane glanced at her friend. “Yeah, he was here. He wanted to talk.” She frowned. “We should head back now. Kurt needs to hear about this.”

“Sooner rather than later,” Tasha said. “You know he’ll get all growly.”

“That’s true.”

In agreement, they set off at a quick pace back to the house. Kurt was at the door a few seconds later, nostrils flaring.

“That was fast,” Jane remarked. “You caught his scent I take it?”

“It was the same Sentinel that Patterson saw?” he asked.

“Yes and—we have to talk about it.” Jane sighed. “Because I knew him.”

***

_I knew him._

The business card sat in the middle of the table, somehow vaguely accusatory as Kurt paced. “You said he wants to talk?”

“Well, he said he knew something about the tattoos. Or at least that his boss does.” Jane shook her head. “I just have this feeling that…I think John was a friend. Or at least an ally.” She couldn’t have explained how it was she knew that. It was just a feeling. A very _strong_ feeling. She wasn’t about to ignore it. Even if her stubborn Sentinel had a problem with it. She needed to know about her tattoos and she had a team more than capable of handling a meet.

Kurt sighed. “What if you’re wrong?”

“It’s not like we have a whole lot of other options.” She raised her chin. “Kurt, we _have_ to know. We can make all of the arrangements. Bring the pack. Involve whoever we to.”

“She’s got a point,” Patterson said. She wasn’t usually one to pull her rank in the pack to bear, but she _had_ met the Sentinel in question, and her own impressions of him—while certain he was being evasive—were somewhat positive. Besides, a properly online Sentinel or Guide, if in control of their talents, was a testament of good faith on their own. A Sentinel or Guide _not_ engaged in the public good lost their abilities.

This Sentinel, John, he was using his gifts for their appropriate intention.

“We could always call Sentinel Maza,” David said. “If this guy is operating in New York, she’ll probably know about him.”

Kurt stopped pacing and nodded sharply. “All right. We call Maza, and then we arrange a meet with John and his mysterious employer. Someplace public. Someplace we control.” He put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “I won’t put you in danger.”

She reached up, squeezing his hand in reassurance. “I know.”

_I know._

***

The only real information they were able to pry out of New York’s Alpha Sentinel was that she had _heard_ of their friendly man in the suit. Apparently, he and an odd Sentinel/Guide pair were well known in the underground of New York for helping people. And the people they helped kept their mouths shut.

Which didn’t make Kurt feel any better.

Especially when his pack was in flux. With Tasha online now, him newly bonded and his nephew’s latent talent to worry about, never mind Reade’s—it was just a lot to consider. He wasn’t sure if the meet was a good idea, but he was sure that if he didn’t make the arrangements, his Guide would make him regret it. Or do something incredibly reckless. He didn’t want either one of those things to happen.

“Couldn’t we have done this someplace less…” Kurt gestured in exasperation at the carnival around them.

Jane smiled, putting her hand on his arm to help ground him. “Please, if you were plotting a meeting with a potentially hostile Sentinel, where would you meet? The colors and sound level the playing field.”

Their people were on the perimeter, watching, waiting, while Jane and Kurt waited near the carousel for John and his employer to make an appearance.

“I know that.”

“You’re just mad you didn’t think of it first.”

“She’s got you there,” Reade said through the coms.

“Shut up.”

 “Incoming,” Tasha said. “I’ve got eyes on a handsome man in a suit.”

“Do you have to say handsome?” Kurt asked.

“Yes.”

Kurt made a face.

Jane smiled. “He _is_ handsome though.”

“Not you too.”

His Guide shrugged and pet his arm. “You’re more handsome.”

He smiled, flushing just a bit as she sent a wave of warmth and a touch of lust through their bond.

“I hope you and your people haven’t been waiting long.” John stepped up, his usual unperturbed expression in place. “You must be Agent Weller. I hope you’re taking good care of Jane.”

“I am.”

John cracked a minute smile. “Good. I take it you want to know about the program.”

“You said your boss had information about Orion,” Jane prompted.

John nodded. “That’s right. And about the tattoos.” He took a breath. “You can call him Harold.”

“Is he coming?” Kurt asked.

“He’s a private person, doesn’t really do field work.”

“That’s a no then.” Kurt crossed his arms over his chest, eyeing the other Sentinel. “How is he supposed to give us this information without meeting us?”

John reached into his pocket and pulled out a prepaid phone. “With this.” He held it out to Jane first, but after a soft growl from Kurt, turned to his fellow Sentinel. “You can hand it to her if that will make you more comfortable.”

Kurt nodded sharply and took the phone, eyeing it, sniffing it and then handing it to Jane once he was reassured there weren’t any explosives inside it.

Jane thumbed on the power. “He going to give me a call or something?”

“His number and mine are programmed in.” John blinked slowly. “There’s a lot I can’t say in someplace so public. You’ll get a call later with a time and place to meet. You can bring your pack to stake it out.” He looked back at Kurt. “I’m here because I want to help, Jane. Okay?”

Kurt couldn’t hear a lie in John’s heartbeat but it was more than that. The man wasn’t just _anyone_ , he was a Sentinel. It wasn’t public knowledge that Sentinels could go…bad. But when they did, they went dormant or they flamed out. This man, he was in full control of his abilities. There was nothing about him that screamed danger. Which in itself, told Kurt he was dangerous. But they did need answers and John was making a concession letting the pack tag along.

“Fine.” Kurt raised his chin. “But I want something now. Sign of good faith, so we can make sure your information is genuine.”

“Deal.” John smiled. “1983, Taunton State Hospital.”

“What’s that got do with anything?”

“You’ll just have to look into it and find out.” John shrugged. “Be seeing you.”

Kurt watched the man as he walked away. “What do you think Jane?”

“I think Patterson is about to dig through every file she can find on Taunton State Hospital.”

He couldn’t argue with that.


	8. Progressive Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ware, there be spanking.

“Taunton State Hospital was first realized as a mental health facility,” Patterson said. “Though that’s a loose definition given the era it was built.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” David replied. “Regardless, we did the digging and came across something interesting.”

“Redacted files,” Patterson went on. “It looks like there was some kind of government research going on at the hospital. Even Kurt’s clearance wasn’t high enough to get anything that wasn’t almost completely blacked out.”

“But, there were a couple photos.” David clicked the remote to change to the next image on the monitor. “At first, it looked like school photos, but we realized the kids were in front of the hospital. We managed to find a familiar face.”

David zoomed in on one wide-eyed little girl with dark hair.

Kurt stared hard at the image, but he knew who it was in an instant. _Taylor Shaw._ “This was Project Orion.”

“It certainly seems to be.” Patterson nodded.

Jane blinked, staring hard at the photograph. She didn’t remember any of this. “I guess John’s employer isn’t fooling around if they managed to track this down.”

“Yup.” Patterson glanced at Jane. “If I hadn’t been pointed in the right direction, I wouldn’t have found this.”

“Okay, so that’s one point in John’s favor,” Kurt admitted grudgingly.

“Does this mean you’ll stop dragging your feet over the next meet?” Jane glanced at her Sentinel. “We could _finally_ get the answers I—we’ve been looking for.”

“I don’t know.” Kurt shook his head. “I need to think about this.”

Jane sighed. _Don’t think too long._

“Meanwhile, any news on the tattoos?”

“You bet,” Patterson said. “Ana helped us crack this one, she might be a bit unorthodox, but she’s a smart kid.”

The young Sentinel flushed.

“Good, let’s get to work.”

***

Jane had an odd moment alone when the phone John gave her went off. “Hello?”

“Hello, Jane.” The voice was pleasant, though unfamiliar.

“Is this Harold?”

“It is. Have you had time to consider the information John provided?”

“We did. The home of the Orion Project. The first solid lead we’ve really had.” She glanced around and ducked into a quiet room, flipping on the white noise generator. “Where do you want to meet?”

He rattled of an address. “Seven PM?”

“I’ll be there.” She hung up and erased the call history and put it back in her pocket. She shouldn’t be hiding things from Kurt but…she couldn’t risk him disagreeing to the meet. Jane couldn’t explain it, but she trusted John.

And she had to know the truth. One way, or another.

***

Sneaking away from one’s Bonded Sentinel—a Sentinel of any stripe really—was no mean feat. But Jane wasn’t a typical Guide. She’d been trained for stealth after all, and Sentinel avoidance techniques were part and parcel of that.

She got to the meeting site fifteen minutes early, casing the location before heading inside.

John arrived first, and was followed by a small man with a limp wearing glasses and a sharp suit moments later.

“You must be Harold,” Jane said.

“Jane.” He smiled. “Here by yourself?”

She shrugged. “My Sentinel is overprotective.”

“Sounds like the Taylor I remember,” John said, smiling. “So, how much time do you think we have before he tracks you down?”

“Twenty minutes.”

“Then we’ll make this fast, Harold?”

Harold nodded. “The tattoos, the information stored in them, came from a project designed to predict criminal activities. A project that, _I_ , unfortunately, am responsible for. How the information was tapped, I’m not sure. Why it was tattooed onto your flesh? I couldn’t guess. But I do know that somehow, the tattoos have encoded several years’ worth of data.” He shook his head. “The purpose thus far seems to be prevention, but I don’t know how long that will continue.”

“You developed some sort of…data collection system then? Something to find criminal activity.” Bandit made a soft sound from her shoulder, nesting into her hair.

“That’s correct.”

“So someone got a hold of this information and then, put it on me?” Jane shook her head. “That seems like a strange way to give the FBI information.”

“A _dramatic_ way,” Harold corrected. “Something they could not ignore.”

“There is that.” John shrugged. “Hard to ignore a naked woman in a bag in Time’s Square.”

Jane shook her head. “There was a Sentinel, Oscar, he said it was my idea.” She looked at John. “I don’t know if I can believe that or not. The CIA wanted to know where the tattoos came from too.”

“All I can assure you of, is that the information contained within them is legitimate, and it will save lives,” Harold said gently. “I want to help you find out who did this to you.”

“Why?”

“My machine provided the information. It seems only right. Do you still have the phone?”

“I do.”

“Keep it close. If you ever need help, call. I’ll make sure to keep you apprised of our investigation.”

“Thank you.”

“I have a few other…associates.” Harold glanced at John. “They’re a bit odd but generally reliable. So if you need assistance, we can lend a hand with manpower to some extent.”

John nodded. “We have a few friends in the NYPD too.”

Jane took a deep breath. “Do you really think you’ll be able to trace me back to the person who did this? I mean, the FBI team is good. _Really_ good.”

“But they aren’t us,” Harold replied. “I truly believe you’ll stand a better chance at answers with our assistance. I want to help you.” He checked his watch. “We should move out, John.” He looked back at Jane. “Do be careful. You aren’t the only person I’ve worked with from Orion. The project could still be active, and if it is, the handlers will be looking out for you.”

Jane smiled. “They’ll have get through my pack…and Sentinel Maza.”

“And us,” John added. “Keep that phone close.”

“I will.” Bandit chirped encouragingly and she had the strangest feeling that her little knack _approved_ of all of this.

She knew something she hadn’t before, and that was an improvement, for certain. Having people outside the FBI, outside law enforcement entirely, couldn’t hurt either. She couldn’t be certain how the meeting would have gone with Kurt there, but then she couldn’t be certain Kurt would have agreed to let her come at all.

She wasn’t about to give up on who she was _just_ because she’d Bonded. Kurt had to know that.

Right?

***

Or not.

Jane’s ass hurt, and Kurt had promised her a proper spanking when they got home so…she had that to look forward to.

He was silent, but she could feel the disappointment tinged with anger and fear coming off him. He’d talk—yell—when he was ready. And in the meantime, she would sit quietly in the back seat, grateful he hadn’t handcuffed her to the door. Because he had used those exact words when he stuck her in the back seat.

 _After_ he pulled her over the hood of the car and gave her a quick spanking.

She had the strangest feeling this one was going to be memorable. She’d gone behind his back. Done something potentially dangerous. Evaded him—on purpose. _Lied._ He was justified in being angry. And she was feeling guiltier by the minute now that the high of doing something on her own had worn off.

But she _had_ needed to meet with Harold, that wasn’t up for discussion. Allies outside of the bureau were important. Allies who had built the thing that gathered all the information that was now tattooed on her body? Well, that was another thing. _And Bandit liked them._

Kurt parked and climbed out of the car, walking around to open her door—as the child locks were engaged. Jane looked up at him, eyes a bit wide. “Kurt?”

“I texted Sarah, she’s going to take Sawyer out for dinner while we resolve this.”

Well, there went that last bit of hope that this would be put off and forgotten. Kurt helped her out of the backseat, keeping a firm hand clamped around her wrist as he led her to the parking garage elevator. As it rose, Jane was pretty sure her stomach stayed in the basement.

He marched her down the hall and into the unfortunately Sarah and Sawyer-free apartment, down the hall and into their bedroom.

“Take a shower,” he said sharply.

Jane blinked, somewhat confused but also happy to have some kind of a reprieve and nodded quickly, shuffling into the bathroom before he could change his mind.

***

While Jane showered, Kurt considered options. He could understand, more than understand, why she went off without him. He could. That didn’t mean he wasn’t royally pissed off. She’d put herself in danger, needlessly.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. Ever since this whole thing started, ever since he’d walked into that room with her, he’d known that he would be her Sentinel. He might have tried to put distance between them. Tried to deny it. But he had known.

He’d known before they’d Bonded that it wouldn’t be easy. That there was nothing traditional about the relationship they would share. Well, mostly nothing. He knew her memories haunted her. He knew… He knew that this might never be over, this thing with the tattoos.

But they had to work it together. They were a team. She couldn’t just go behind his back because she thought he might say no to something. That wasn’t how this team, this _relationship_ was going to operate.

He heard the water shut off in the bathroom and started rolling up his sleeves. He grabbed a a towel and tossed it on the bed. After a moment’s thought he picked up Jane’s hairbrush and set it down on the bed before he sat down. He wasn’t entirely certain he’d need it but…the threat should be there.

She stepped out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her, hair still dripping. Her eyes widened a fraction on sighting Kurt already ready and waiting.

He pointed at the floor in front of his feet.

“Shouldn’t I…dry off?”

“No.”

She stepped forward and he took her by the wrist tugging her over his lap. The towel didn’t quite make it.

“You lied to me, Jane.”

“I don’t know if it counts as a lie—”

He cut her off with a sharp smack. She yelped.

Which was when she realized that it hurts _a lot_ more to get spanked on wet skin. “Kurt,” Jane whined.

“You could have been killed, Jane. I thought we were past you putting yourself into danger.” He laid out four more hard spanks.

Jane couldn’t stop herself from kicking or trying to squirm away. It _hurt._

Kurt gripped her tighter around the waist and got into his usual rhythm.

Jane could not have imagined how much worse a spanking on wet skin could be. She’d have seriously questioned his shower order if she had. She was definitely not going to fall for that again. Nope. The kicking was only marginally giving her something to focus on besides the pain, but Kurt wasn’t going to take it easy on her.

He was angry, but more than that she’d scared the hell out of him and she could feel that through their bond.

“We’re a team, remember? And you deliberately made yourself difficult to find on the off-chance I would say no to a meet with Harold.”

_Oh, ouch. Ouch. Oh God that hurts._

“I was terrified.” He continued. “Oscar is still out there, Jane. We don’t know what his plans are for you. What lengths he might go to.”

Which, to be fair, she hadn’t actually considered in the slightest. “I’m not a baby!” she snarled. “I can take care of myself!”

That earned her an especially sharp smack. “You aren’t a one-woman army,” he replied. “And Oscar could have friends! He’s already proven to be unstable, Jane. I will not let you put yourself in danger.”

And she knew that. She also knew she had about thirty different ways she could extricate herself from this situation—but that would only make it worse. She didn’t _want_ Kurt to be angry with her. She didn’t want him to be scared. He was her Sentinel. She wanted him to forgive her and for the terrible undercurrent of guilt to go away.

Secretly, she craved this sort of attention the same way she craved his arms around her. It proved again that he loved her. That he wanted her—that she wasn’t just some freak he’d been stuck with. Going alone wasn’t just her way of making sure she got the information, it was her way of making sure that if there had been something… _anything_ from her past that proved Oscar’s rambling. That she’d asked for this. That she wasn’t a good person.

Well, she didn’t want Kurt to know about it. She wanted him to see her as she was now, without whatever horrible things she’d done in the past staining their bond.

Kurt, for his part, could feel the roiling mass of uncertainty and self-doubt, fear and guilt, that his Guide was stuck in. He could smell it. He took careful note of the mottled red color he’d brought out and sighed before picking up the brush.

Jane blinked in surprise at the sudden stop and turned her head to look back, eyes widening at the sight of the brush in his hand. She shook her head, flinging water droplets from her hair. “Kurt, no, please. I’m sorry!”

“I can feel you all tangled up again, little bird.” He managed a wry sort of smile. “Trust me, it’s going to be all better soon. Okay?”

She didn’t _want_ to trust him because she didn’t _want_ him to paddle her with her own hairbrush. Particularly as the sturdy wooden brush was, well, a sturdy wooden brush. Finally though, she managed a very small nod and buried her face back into the bed before she could change her mind.

The fifth swat finally did it, cracking down like lightning to break through the morass of her emotions. Kurt felt the difference, _heard_ the change in the cadence of her tears, and stopped. He rubbed her back gently, scooping her up into her arms. “I’ve got you, little bird. All’s forgiven.”

With care, he dried her hair and settled her down onto her stomach. “I’m going to get you some clothes.” He gave her neck a gentle squeeze, unsurprised to find her drifting off. He’d wake her up for dinner. They could talk about what she’d learned from Harold tomorrow.

And maybe, just maybe, start to make some kind of headway. Jane needed progress in this case. She needed closure.

He’d do anything to make sure that happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kind words and notes and...just thank you. November was really hard for me, and I was also doing Nanowrimo (yes, I did finish and win! so hurrah). This chapter's a little shorter than I like, but I really wanted to give you guys something.


	9. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, and update! 
> 
> Sorry folks, I've been working on non-fanfiction mostly, and then there's been a depressive episode that simply would not end. But I have the whole thing outlined, and speculate 3-4 more chapters past this one. 
> 
> Cheers, and thanks for your comments while I've been away.

Kurt didn’t want to let Jane out of his sight, but he was resigned to sticking her in the lab with Patterson while reported in.

“So…Kurt seemed kind of pissed,” Patterson remarked, eyeing Jane who had refused the offer of a seat with a flush.

“I sort of went behind his back.” Jane sighed. “It’ll be fine.”

“Right,” David shook his head. “I’ll get you some aspirin. There’s also a cream I can recommend if there’s any bruising.”

Jane flushed, ears tinging red. “Thanks.” Bandit nested in her hair, trying to comfort her.

“It’ll be okay, I’m sure.” Patterson put a hand on Jane’s shoulder. “He forgave you, right?”

“Yes. I just—”

The computer dinged, drawing Patterson’s attention. “What is it David?”

“Lead back on these rune tattoos,” David said, pulling up the relevant photographs. “Looks like it connects to a cold case file from the NYPD. Huh.”

Patterson’s brow furrowed. “Hm.”

 Kurt stalked into the lab, “We have a new case?”

“Yessir,” David replied. “Sort of a strange case too.”

Kurt looked at the screen as David pulled up details. “A serial killer?”

Patterson nodded. “It looks like they haven’t been active for a decade though, so I’m not sure this qualifies as a current threat. I’ll run some cross searches to see if we can’t find any murders that match the MO.”

“All right.” Kurt nodded sharply. “Bring Ana in on this too, run those searches nationwide.”

“Yes, sir.”

Jane eyed her Sentinel, feeling out his emotional landscape. He seemed calmer than he had that morning, that seemed promising. Kurt returned her appraisal and gave her a smile.

“Do you want to bring your new friends in on this?” Kurt asked after a moment.

“Do _you_?” she returned.

“I—if you trust them, I trust you.”

Jane smiled and closed the distance between them to press a chaste kiss to his lips. “Thanks, Kurt. I’ll send Harold a message and see what he thinks.”

“And if he wants to meet?” Kurt raised an eyebrow.

“I’ll bring you along?” She widened her eyes.

“Good girl.”

***

Harold, rather than meeting with them, directed them to head to a police precinct and provided a name. Detective Joss Carter. Jane’s coat covered most of her tattoos, it was easier to cover them up than get stared at and looking “normal” in a police station was only to her benefit. Tasha and Reade waited outside. Two Feds in a police station would draw looks but four? Well, rumors would start spreading then and they really didn’t need any more rumors.

Kurt paused to ask the desk Sergeant where Detective Carter’s desk was before heading into the bullpen. Detective Carter was at her desk, a black leather jacket slung over her chair catching Kurt’s attention with it’s warm scent before he turned his attention back to the short, though striking black woman.

“Detective Carter?” he pulled out his badge and set it down on the desk in front of her. “I’m Kurt Weller. A…friend sent me.”

She nodded. “He does that. You’re looking into that cold case.” Detective Carter glanced at Jane. “And you must be Guide Shaw. John says we can trust you.”

“Thank you?”

Joss smiled and pulled a file from her desk, setting it down next to Kurt’s badge. “Here. This is everything we could drag up.”

“Thanks.” Kurt picked up the file, flipping through. “Anything else or did I come all the way here for a file?”

Detective Carter smiled. “I’m also supposed to tell you that the other team is keeping an eye on you. For protection. Sentinel Guide pair, both female. Root and…Shaw.” She shook her head. “They can be a bit odd, but they’re good at what they do.”

“Okay.”

“And the other Shaw,” Detective Carter went on, “John says you might recognize her.” Joss looked at Jane. “You had…similar upbringings.”

Jane went rigid for a fraction of a second, enough that Kurt noticed it. “I see.”

“Well then, should the FBI need anything else, just let me know.”

“Sure.” Kurt nodded. “Thanks.” He scooped up his badge and headed toward the door.

Jane lingered a moment, eyes on Joss. She had the most peculiar feeling, much like the one she’d had before Ana emerged. “Are you latent?”

Joss blinked. “Yes. How did you know?”

“I…” Jane shrugged. “Just, something might happen. Soon.”

“Jane?” Kurt called.

“Coming.” Jane flashed a quick smile at her Sentinel and turned back to Joss. “Be careful.”

“Okay.” Joss blinked, confusion written on her face, but Jane could tell she took the warning seriously. It was generally considered wise to take warning from Guides seriously. While most people no longer believed Guides had spiritual means, they could and did have some degree of near-prescient ability.

Jane nodded and hurried to catch up with Kurt.

***

The routine for the next few days was set. Kurt kept Jane within eye sight, the investigation moved slowly, and every so often when they were out and about—Kurt was certain he caught a glimpse of the elusive Root and Shaw. It was more a feeling than anything else, that sense that he was being watched, that there was a Sentinel nearby, pressing in on his territorial instincts. But this Sentinel was like a ghost. All of their power hovering close to the skin and pulled in tight. If he hadn’t known to look for her, he wasn’t sure he would have noticed her at all.

Jane noticed the pair as well. There was a definite familiarity to one of them. Shaw, if what Carter had intimated was true. Jane wanted to meet her. She’d yet to meet anyone else from Orion, and she wanted to. Of course, she also wasn’t going to upset Kurt so soon after her meeting with Harold. Jane was many things, but she preferred being able to sit down _and_ not being handcuffed to Kurt for the foreseeable future.

The team closed out the latest tattoo case, but Jane found herself becoming more anxious. She felt as though there were a storm on the horizon waiting to break. The sensation lurked at the back of her mind for moments when she’d nothing else to think about—and there was nothing she could really do about it. Kurt noticed her distraction, but chalked it up to the tight leash she was on. She didn’t like being caged, his little bird, not that he could blame her.

He made dinner arrangements that weekend, hoping to make up for the over-protectiveness with a night out.

“This place is fancy,” Jane noted, tugging at the sleeve of her dress.

“They have some of the best desserts in the city,” he replied. “I thought…I thought maybe a normal date might be nice.” He flushed ever so slightly.

Jane smiled. “Thank you.” She couldn’t actually remember having been on a normal date, but Jane was determined to make the night count. To remember every moment. Every little smile that flickered across Kurt’s lips. His hand on hers. The taste of the wine. The sweetness of an _incredibly_ expensive chocolate soufflé. The too warm glances that turned heated. His hand on the small of her back as they headed back toward the car.

She fixed it into her mind, tattooed onto her brain.

And the storm broke.


	10. No More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oscar seals his own fate.

Jane’s first thought was that her head _ached_ and there was a fuzzy sort of haze all over that. Part of it, she was certain, were empathic inhibitors. Fear spiked from her heart to her stomach, cold and urgent as she immediately sat up. That she could sit up was a point better than the last time she’d woken up in a strange place. But it was dark, too dark to see anything. She felt around beneath her, a slightly springy surface—a thin mattress. Her legs were stretched out in front of her and she carefully felt for the edge of the bed before swinging her legs over the side.

Her shoes were gone, and her bare feet touched cold. Stone.

She swallowed, reaching out into the dark, fingers brushing against more cold, more stone. She carefully walked her hand up the wall, and found regular channels in the stone. Concrete then. Concrete blocks, to be specific. Carefully, she stood and walked along the wall, measuring the room with her footsteps. Directly across from the bed her hands found metal—a door.

There was no handle on this side, however, and the hinges were inaccessible so far as her fingers could make out. Jane sighed and returned to the bed. She couldn’t feel her Bond. She couldn’t feel Kurt. She’d no idea who had taken her. She couldn’t remember in any detail what had happened outside the restaurant. It was all a haze.

She sat down, blinking back tears. Why did things like this keep happening? Why couldn’t these people just leave her alone? She just wanted to Guide her Sentinel, be with her pack, help people. But her past, it seemed, was always waiting.

***

Kurt woke in the Center’s hospital wing, restrained and groggy. Patterson and Reade were within eyesight, but he could smell the rest of his pack nearby.

“Where’s Jane?” he managed.

Patterson glanced at Reade and then back at Kurt, brow furrowed. “We don’t know.”

Kurt surged, straining at the cuffs holding him to the bed.

“You went feral,” Reade added, by way of explanation. “All we’re sure of right now is that she isn’t dead. We’ll find her. Sentinel Maza is already out there with a team and the FBI.”

“And I contacted Detective Carter,” Patterson said. “She’s getting in touch with our friend in the suit and his boss. We will find her.” She swallowed. “We will.”

Kurt growled—and everything went to hell all over again as his pack scrambled to keep him from doing anything reckless.

Which was how John and Joss found the room a few minutes later. Reade laying on top of Kurt, Patterson trying to hold down one of his arms while David and Tasha tried to calm him down. Joss quickly pressed the room’s call button and hurried to help. John sighed and stepped out of the room to update Harold on the situation and then try to get ahold of Root and Shaw—the pair had been tailing Kurt and Jane that very evening and he hadn’t heard from them.

The Center staff had to sedate Kurt, which wasn’t going to solve their long-term problem, but perhaps they’d have better news when he woke up. Patterson took note of John and Joss and hurried over to them.

“Please tell me you have something.”

“I’m still waiting to hear back from the team we had tailing Weller and Jane,” John replied. “But they’re good, trust me on that.”

“I hope so.” Patterson glanced back at Kurt. “I don’t know what we’ll do if we lose Jane.” She didn’t want to say it out loud, but she knew they’d lose Kurt too. He would hunt for Jane until the world burned around him and nothing would stop him—until someone had to stop him.

“We’ll find her,” John promised.

Joss nodded. “John’s right about Root and Shaw. They can be unconventional, but they’re very good at what they do.”

David joined his Sentinel, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

It had to be.

***

The clang of metal shook Jane awake. Light flashed from the hall outside and she raised a hand against it, blinking. “Who’s there?”

“It’s just me,” Oscar replied. “Hello, Taylor.”

She stood, squaring her stance. “Where is Kurt?”

“You don’t have to worry about him anymore.” Oscar smiled. “I’m going to fix it. I’m going to fix everything and then you and—we can be together.” He raised his hand, the gun flashing.

Jane swallowed. “You can’t break my Bond with Kurt.”

“We’ll just see about that.”

***

Some hours later, back at the Center, David and Tasha had managed to get Kurt…well calm wasn’t precisely the word, but he wasn’t snarling at anyone. John was dozing in a chair when his phone went off.

He answered quickly. “Tell me you have something.”

“Why John, no hello first?” The slightly flippant tone clued him into the caller’s identity.

“Root, we don’t have time.”

“Yes, yes. I know. We tracked the kidnappers to an abandoned medical facility, Sameen is stalking about. I’ll text you the address. You’ll want to bring along her Sentinel.”

“I was planning on it.” John sighed. “I’ll see you there.” He hung up, looking around the room and the suddenly very attentive group he had at his disposal. “They’ve tracked the kidnappers, I have an address.”

Kurt was up before anyone could say a word, throwing on his shoes and jacket. “Let’s go.”

***

Kurt’s pack made it to the medical facility quickly, utilizing sirens, lights and Tasha’s somewhat reckless driving skills to get there faster than was probably safe—and definitely not entirely legal. Not that anyone was going to mention it to Kurt. Though they did leave Ana and her Guide back at the Center. They were just too green for this sort of thing.

Shaw had finished her scouting by that point, and was waiting with Root in a convenient alley. Kurt was on edge, but he could _almost_ feel Jane through their Bond. More of a tickle than anything else but it was enough to help ground him.

“There are two main entrances,” Shaw said. “Also roof access and one basement door that opens to the outside. I think that’s our best option.”

Kurt eyed the building. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I pulled up the schematics to confirm,” Root added. “There’s an encrypted signal coming from the building, but I haven’t yet managed to break into it. It’s an interesting bit of code.”

“I can help,” Patterson said, pulling out her phone. “What’s the IP address?”

Root smiled and the pair quickly huddled up and got to work.

“We should split up and cover the entrances,” John said. “Just in case. Extraction team goes in through the basement, then we cover the ground floor doors and post someone on the roof there,” he pointed at the building next to the medical facility.

“I’ll take the roof,” Tasha said. “I brought my rifle.”

“Good,” Kurt nodded. “I’ll take point on extraction.” He glanced at John. “You want to come with?”

John raised his eyebrows a touch, and then nodded.

“The rest of will split off on the ground floor,” Reade said.

Kurt nodded again. “All right, Patterson?”

“Just…got it!” Patterson and Root exclaimed at once.

“Mostly communications,” Root said. “Most recent email suggest you’re looking at a handful of hostiles.”

“All right. Let’s go get my girl.”

***

“Katie,” Oscar said. “Your name is Katie.”

Jane blinked, staring at the IV in her arm, without really knowing what it was. “Who are you?” she asked. She couldn’t move, strapped down to a cold table.

“Oscar, I’m your Sentinel.”

“Sentinel?”

“That’s right.” He smiled and took her hand. “And you’re Katie.”

That wasn’t right. She shook her head and tried to pull her hand free. The thing in her arm was bad, she was certain of that. She didn’t like the man touching her.

“That’s not my name,” she slurred. “No.”

Oscar’s face twisted but before he could speak someone shouted, the sound echoing into the small room he’d taken Jane to. The shout was followed by two sharp pops.

_Gunfire._

Oscar pulled his gun from the holster at his side and padded into the hall.

Jane struggled, leaning her head toward the IV and finally gripping the line between her teeth. She closed her eyes and pulled, the line disconnected from the needle, leaving it embedded in her arm.

She felt something, someone. Anger. Fear—and then something else. Something warm and safe. Jane shook her head. The sounds of fighting in the hall grew louder. Oscar shouted something—but she couldn’t understand it.

And then there was a man in the door. She was sure she should know him. Know the set of his brow and the width of his shoulders. The blue of his eyes. Memories swam just out of reach like unruly fish.

“Jane?” He hurried toward her, removing the restraints and tugging the needle free as gently as he could. “Little bird?” His hand brushed over her skin—and that warm feeling grew stronger.

A thousand times stronger. A little bird appeared at her knee, chirping insistently.

_Bandit._

_Kurt._

_Sentinel._

“Kurt.” She started to cry. “He tried to make me forget you.”

“It’s okay,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “It’s okay.”

John slipped into the room a moment later. “We need to move.”

“Can you walk, Jane?”

She wasn’t sure. “I don’t know.” Her legs felt heavier than her head.

“That’s okay.” Kurt guided her arms around his neck and picked her up. “Hold on now.”

She clung tight as they headed out into the hall—and spotted Oscar on the ground. “Is he dead?” she asked.

“Yeah,” John said.

“Good.”

Jane buried her face in Kurt’s shoulder, willing all of it away.

_No more_ , she thought. _No more._


	11. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The pack recovers, and a decision needs to be made.

“How are you feeling today?” Blair asked, settling into the chair across from Jane. “You look better.”

“I—I think I have most of my memories with the FBI back. Sometimes there are little things I miss but Bandit is helping.”

“That’s good.” Blair smiled. “You ready for our session?”

She nodded and reached out to take his hands, slowly dropping her shields to allow him access to her emotional landscape. It was like slipping into a warm bath. They were down to twice a week, but it had been every day for some time, slowly putting Jane’s battered aura back together again after Oscar tried and failed to break her Bond with Kurt.

She’d needed the therapy before that, but Blair hadn’t found time to broach the subject and it was difficult to leave Cascade for the months it would take for Jane to recover. So they brought the mountain to Blair instead. The whole pack came to Cascade on temporary assignment so she could heal. Jane wasn’t sure what to think of that, but when she asked, they would all insist it was nothing. Because they’d almost lost their Alphas, and not a single member of Kurt’s pack was about to risk her recovery now.

Root and Shaw had arrived that morning with a strange case and their typical secretive demeanor, but Jane wasn’t worried about them. She liked the peculiar team and found it amusing when folks couldn’t quite pin down which of the was the Sentinel and which was the Guide.

Jane _was_ worried, but it was because the entire Council of Sentinels and Guides was meeting that evening and the topic at hand was her pack. Blair assured her it was nothing to worry about, but still. She worried.

After her session with Blair, she headed back to her rooms and found Kurt waiting on the couch.

“Hey,” he opened his arms, unsurprised when she immediately settled into his lap. “How was therapy?”

“Okay.” She nuzzled his neck. “I’m just anxious about the Council meeting.”

“I know.” He stroked her hair. “It’s going to be all right.”

Beyond her sessions with Blair, the pair was rarely apart these days. Jane was beginning to get more and more flashes of Taylor, and the more flashes she got—the less she wanted them. Memories of being tied down to a steel table all too like the one Kurt had found her on. Begging someone not to do…something. Memories of her childhood in Project Orion. They all hurt in varying degrees.

“What are the others doing?”

“Root and Patterson were teaching Ana something I probably don’t want to know about for legal reasons. David had a class. Reade is out with Sarah for lunch. Sawyer is in class.”

She hummed, lowering her shields a touch so she could reach out and sense the imprints of the rest of the pack.

“Everyone safe and sound?”

“Mmm, yes.” Jane closed her eyes. “How is Joss doing with John?”

Kurt snorted. “He’s a handful.”

“I know that.” She smirked. She’d been remembering John. He’d always been very good at his job, but not necessarily prone to following orders to the letter. It was one of the things she’d liked about him. Joss had come online shortly after the incident with Oscar and formed a platonic Bond with John. They were still adjusting.

“Shaw and Root are coming over in a bit to explain why Harold sent them,” Kurt said after a pause. “You up for that?”

“Yes.” She pulled her head up, looking him in the eyes. “Do you…do you think we’ll go back to New York?”

“Do you want to?”

She blinked and then slowly shook her head. “I…I do want to keep helping people but—on my terms.”

Kurt nodded, leaning in for a quick kiss. “I know how you feel. The pack has been in too much danger. You’ve been in too much danger.”

“What will we do?”

“I don’t know, but we’ll find a way to balance our lives. I have faith.”

***

Root and Shaw showed up a bit later, by which point Jane had managed to untangle herself from Kurt and settle next to him. The mysterious case in Root’s hands drew Jane’s attention. Kurt sniffed, but there was no trace to clue him in to the contents.

“You look better,” Shaw remarked.

“I am.” Jane leaned forward. “So, Harold sent you?”

“Yes,” Root smiled and set the case down, taking a seat across from Jane. “He had a lot of friend in a lot of places and one of them came up with a little something that we realized could be modified to help you.” She unlocked the case and opened the lid to reveal what appeared to be a clear vial of fluid and an injector. “Nano-particles. They’re designed to focus on foreign material in the body and flush it away.”

Jane blinked. “You mean—like the ink in my tattoos?”

“That’s right. These specific particles have been programmed to focus only on the ink in your body. It would take a couple days for them to finish processing, but once they’re done, the tattoos will be gone.

“If that’s what you want.”

Jane looked down at her hands. There was no reason to _keep_ the ink. Every inch of her flesh was recorded for posterity, much to her own discomfort. Without them, she would blend in more easily. _And if I want new tattoos later, I’ll have room for them._ Markings she chose. Something that meant something to her. Not a barrage of uncertain meaning that she had no emotional attachment to.

“Is it safe?” Kurt asked.

Shaw nodded. “I tested it first. Harold wouldn’t give you something unsafe.”

“Not in his nature,” Root added.

Jane stared at the clear vial. Kurt didn’t care, she knew that. He loved every part of her, ink and all. It was her choice. Every step she took was her choice. She chose to help the FBI. She chose to Bond with Kurt. Now, she could choose to shake off some of the more tangible bindings to the past she’d rather remained in the shadows of her mind.

“I’ll take it.” She looked at Root. “I’ll take it.”

“You’re sure?” Kurt prompted.

“Yes. I’m sure.” She could really start fresh. Just be…just the person Kurt Bonded with. Be the person she wanted to be. Not the person Oscar wanted. Not the person she was. Just…Jane.

“Okay.” Root picked up the vial and snapped it into the injector. “Roll up your sleeve.”

***

The whole pack gathered for the Council meeting, as an official sort of thing, Bonding indicators were worn. Typically a matched set of bracelets, or necklaces, the jewelry also indicated Sentinel and Guide status in the public realm. Kurt and Jane wore a set of silver bracelets set with a bright enamel stripe, whereas David and Patterson’s markers were a necklace set with charms like puzzle pieces that fit together.

Everyone had dressed professionally for the occasion as well, even Ana, though she didn’t look particularly _happy_ about it.

The Council wasn’t _all_ physically present, many of the presiding members were present via video-cast, as territorial instincts generally made it difficult for them to leave their homes for extended periods of time. Technology had certainly made meeting easier on everyone.

Blair and Jim were already seated at the long table opposite a wall of monitors. Kurt and Jane led their pack into the room and settled into their seats. Jane could feel the thrum of nervousness running through them, and without thinking too much about it, sent out a gentle wave of calm.

Blair noticed and flashed a smile. “Nicely done there,” he said.

She flushed and took her seat. “So what’s this all about then?”

“You’ll see.”

Kurt took her hand and squeezed.

Slowly, the monitors flickered to life as the rest of the Council joined them.

“I think we have everyone,” Blair said. “Can everyone hear me?”

There was an affirmative chorus.

“Fantastic, and have you all taken a look at the proposal for the Weller Pack? Do we have any questions?”

Sentinel Maza raised her hand.

“Yes, Sentinel Maza?” Jim called on her.

“There is some concern of leaving a gap we can’t fill. Not from me, mind, but there are rumblings from some of the Eastern Alphas. I’d like to be able to silence them.”

“There will always be other Alphas,” Jim replied. “We’ll find someone should it become necessary. Try to remind them that the safety of the pack will always come first. I will not allow this pack to remain in a threatened state.”

“Thank you, Sentinel Ellison.” She nodded sharply. “So I can tell them to shove it with your blessing?”

Jim snorted. “Yes, Elisa, you have my blessing.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“Any other questions?” Blair waited a few beats. “All right, then are there any objections?” Again, he was met with silence. “Then the resolution passes. Thank you all for your time.”

There were a few minutes where the various Council members said their goodbyes and signed off, leaving the pack alone with Jim and Blair.

“So,” Kurt said. “What was all that about?”

“Well,” Jim said. “We’ve decided that it would be in the best interest of your pack to be relocated. New identities, new names. Operating as an investigative unit for the Sentinel Council.”

Kurt raised his eyebrows. It was a rare sort of offer. Partially because Sentinels who had an established pack were too territorial to be moved. More than that, being an investigative unit for the Sentinel Council was a huge deal. It came with the sort of latitude you didn’t get from regular law enforcement, even when one was a Sentinel. There was still paperwork, regulations, and the like, but they were designed for Sentinels and Guides.

“Where?” Tasha said.

“Vancouver,” Blair replied. “They need a pack.”

“Vancouver?” Kurt remarked. “Well, it’s not New York.”

“No, and it’s closer to Cascade. Only the Council will know who you really are. We have a compound in the area you can occupy. There’s a very good school in the area for your nephew and any other children that might come along.” Blair pulled a thick folder from the bag at his feet and pushed it toward Kurt. “Take your time, look it over. We aren’t going to rush your decision.”

Kurt took the folder in hand, nodding sharply. “All right.”

Every member of his pack had their eyes fixed on that folder. They’re whole lives could be changed in a moment.

It was going to be a long evening.


	12. I Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We come to our close folks. Thanks for reading!

“I’m not wild about being Canadian, is all,” Reade said. “I’ve been a New Yorker my whole life.” He sighed. “But I also don’t want anyone else trying to kill Jane.”

“Thanks,” Jane replied. “I appreciate that.”

“It’s not so bad,” Tasha said. “Getting away from New York has its benefits.” She was thinking, no doubt, about her New York gambling connections. Starting over for Tasha meant a chance to maybe break free of her addiction. With help.

“Sarah, you haven’t weighed in yet,” Kurt looked to his sister. “This is your choice too.”

She sighed. “I know—I know that staying in New York will put us in danger. I just…my job is there and my friends. I need time.”

“That’s all right,” Jane said. “We’ll all take a few days. Think about it and talk again. Okay?”

“Okay,” echoed back from the room and everyone headed off to think.

***

Jane leaned back against Kurt, comforted by his heartbeat under her ear. “Which way are you leaning?” She looked down at her hands. The ink was nearly gone now, but she could still see traces.

“I think we should take the relocation.” He leaned down to kiss the top of her head. “I want you safe. I want my pack safe. And this way, we can still help people. We can still trace the information from your tattoos—we’ll just be doing it from a different country.”

“You really think it’ll be enough to protect me from…from whoever Oscar was working for?”

“I think the Sentinel Council, combined with Harold’s team, will be enough to keep us out of sight. Without the tattoos, you aren’t the Holy Grail of the intelligence world anymore. If they want the information, they’ll have to crack Patterson and Ana’s firewalls.”

Jane snorted. “Good luck.”

“Exactly. This is a chance for something more normal. I want that chance. Do you?”

“Yes.” She pulled his hand close and kissed it. “I want that.”

“Then I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen.”

***

At the end of the week, the pack gathered again and Kurt called for a vote. The decision was made.

***

_Some Months Later_

Some miles outside the city proper, set back in trees and away from the road, was a tidy complex of wooden buildings. A sign at the road marked it as property of the Sentinel and Guide council, Private Property in bold font below that. The lane off the road meandered a bit through the trees before opening on a partially open clearing where the complex was built more in harmony with the surroundings. It was green, incredibly so, with wooden walkways leading from one building to the next and a few sprawling porches that surrounded some of the clearing’s larger trees.

It was quiet, but for the chirp of birdsong, and the drip of a misting rain.

In the back most house, at a broad window seat, Jane sat, watching a pair of birds build a nest in a nearby tree.

“You look like you’re thinking deep thoughts,” Kurt remarked, padding toward her.

She rolled her head back to look at him. “Not really. I’m just resting, like the doctor told me to.”

“I appreciate that.” He hugged her, pressing a gentle kiss to her cheek. Kurt glanced down at the still small swell of her stomach. “You know I worry.”

“I know.” She smiled. “But we’ve gotten through harder things than this.” Jane put a hand on her stomach. “How are Tasha and Reade doing with the case?”

“They’ll be back before the end of the week. Patterson and David are heading out this afternoon on a call, but it shouldn’t take more than a day or two.”

“Good.” Jane stretched a bit. “I prefer having everyone here.” Moreso lately though, the pregnancy was making her more protective than usual. “Everyone’s still coming to visit next month though, right?”

“Of course. And on that note, I have lunch ready for you.” Kurt helped her to her feet. She didn’t actually need the help, but she found that letting him get away with these little things tamped down on his more growly responses.

“Ooh.” She gave him a kiss. “I hope there’s pie.”

“The doctor said you should cut back on sugar, little bird.”

“The doctor doesn’t have a small person growing in their uterus and should keep his mouth shut,” she replied. “I gave up coffee. I gave up fish. I will not give up pie. I draw the line there.”

Kurt laughed. “All right. You can have your pie.” He wrapped an arm around her waist and they headed for the dining room. “But I’m drawing the line at ice cream.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Oh really?”

She gave him a look he knew all too well, that little smile that told him she was inches away from doing something borderline dangerous and impressive all at once. A smile that had grown more and more common since they’d moved to Vancouver. A smile that was all Taylor. All Jane. All his Guide.

Jane slipped free of his arm and hurried toward the kitchen with a laugh. “I am _so_ getting that ice cream!” She smiled wider when she felt his response through their Bond. When she crawled out of that bag in Times Square, she never could have imagined _this_. Feeling safe. Having her Sentinel. This place. Her pack. The baby she’d get to see in a few months time.

There were still battles to be fought. Still mysteries to be solved but she knew now, more than ever, who she was. Guide. Partner. Lover. Confidant. Mother. Happy.

Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part of me wanted this to be longer, but the rest of me really wanted to finish it where I felt it was right to finish it. Thanks again to everyone who commented and read this fic. I really appreciate the kind words.

**Author's Note:**

> “Memory is more indelible than ink.”  
> ― Anita Loos


End file.
